GAAAAAAAA I hate being sick and I’m so bored. It all started Sunday night around dinner when I got uncontrollably freezing. I basically was running fevers all night then felt awful yesterday. Today I am MUCH better. I went into school late, but I really wanted to stop in. But I am banished from the babies for another 24 hours because they are understandably paranoid about passing something around.
It’s really okay though because I have taken this opportunity to work on things I have been avoiding like drafting a letter to Dell about computer grants and registering to take my ATAS (Assessment of Teaching Skills) exam. It qualifies you to be an assistant teacher in the state of NY, which is becoming a definite possibility for me when I return. Especially because I need to get major experience if I want to go to school to become a special education teacher. Plus assistant teaching will give those one on one opportunities with the children who are struggling, which interests me much more that creating lesson plans and presenting information to a whole class. I would say nearly all of my Math education in elementary school is the direct result of working in a small group with one of the teaching assistants.
I can’t believe that my time here is winding down. From today I have exactly a month left in Guatemala, less at Casa B if you consider that I have Easter week off, and then will be departing after that. I feel like I am just getting used to it, just getting the process down to the point where I can get things accomplished. I feel like I finally have the trust and support I need from the other staff members to make my ideas happen. Last week, Sandra, the mother of the baby house actually asked me what I thought needed improvement. I told her some things couldn’t be helped really, like truly individualized attention for each baby. Nearly impossible for the situation. But also suggested (again) that we settle for a middle ground and re-instate the night-time routine. Which we did on Saturday AND Sunday! I don’t know what happened last night…I was quarantined.
But the point is that we are finally reaching an understanding that there are different things I can offer. I’ve noticed that many of the people here hold a slight distrust until they see how the kids are responding to you. A turning point in my relationship with the parents is when the kids would run up and hug me or talk about what I did with them in school. But isn’t that true everywhere? Parents are reserved until they know that you hold their child in high regard, that you will take care of them to every extent of your possibility.
So now that all this is available to me, it’s becoming harder to grasp that I will soon be leaving. But of course you can never move on unless you actually go. And I know there is more for me to experience. Reminds me of a Jack Kerouac quote, “What is the feeling when you're driving away from people, and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? -it's the too huge world vaulting us, and it's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.”
I don’t want this to be marked as the beginning of the end. A month (or really 3 weeks) is a long time. With my incredible ability to successfully do things at the absolute, no doubt about it, last minute, I am pretty sure I have ample time to procrastinate and get more done. I feel pretty good so far, so thank you for supporting me thorough it all. I really wouldn’t be here without all of you that love me and fostered this confidence in me. Has the fever made me delirious and gushy….possibly? But in all seriousness, this has been a blessing. It’s where I need to be, but I wouldn’t have gotten this far if you all weren’t a part of my life.
And it wouldn't be complete without an adorable picture! HOLA JULIET!