You're All That I Can Call My Own

Final Chapter

2010-08-24T08:25:00.000-07:00

Friday July 23, 2010

I am sitting at the airport wondering how this day came so quickly and searching for the right words to describe my time here. Words are failing me, especially in a country like Ethiopia, in a place as special as Africa. Right now, as I prepare to depart I want a word that explains that something has happened to change me. But the word needs to encompass more than change. Something much bigger has happened. From this point on my life will have a before and after, a was and a will be and I will never again be the same person. But in the end words alone mean very little, as Maya Angelou tells us, “it takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning.” And so, for perhaps the last time, I will give as much of my genuine voice to this final chapter as I can.

It’s too soon to really understand what my time here has meant, nor am I ready to try to explain. Instead I will turn to a favorite quote from a favorite book of mine, The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolover, that has been a sustaining thought as I have grappled with many confusing emotions over the past few months.

“To live is to be marked. To live is to change, to acquire the words of a story, and that is the only celebration we mortals really know…One has only a life of one’s own.”

As most of you know I was never destined for a “normal” path. And while I wouldn’t expect anyone to understand why I needed to do this, all of us make choices in our lives that require us to sacrifice at least a piece of what we cling to. If nothing else explains these past months, maybe that does.

The past few weeks have not only been a whirlwind of activity, but have been deeply emotional and exhausting. I have accomplished more than I ever thought capable of myself. But my initial goals really rather simple. First, I had the hope of giving my time and talents for those who never had the same ample opportunities as I, and second, perhaps more selfishly, to open my perspective to include other cultures in the world. Mission accomplished? With time, I may know one day.

At one point I compared this adventure to falling in love, already knowing that my heart will be broken. Now I have to say that comparison isn’t entirely fair. It isn’t so much of a breaking as a constant longing. I got to know Ethiopia for its beauty and ugliness, it’s good and bad. But more importantly I discovered my beauty and ugliness, my good and bad, what I liked and disliked about me, here, as I was tested over and over again. Ethiopia and I, we experienced life together, what our life would be like together.

So as I prepare to depart, literally, they are boarding my flight, I am still completely at a loss for the right word to encompass this experience. I guess the closest I can come right now is: gratitude. Thank you for the emotional support. I have received countless wonderful e-mails and good thoughts that have helped sustain me through some of the more difficult times. I truly carry all of your love with me, and mostly likely if you are reading this, you are one of those people who has loved me and encouraged the confidence that I needed to undertake this adventure. I feel blessed to have been able to embark upon this journey, and I hope that my experiences have been a blessing to you as a result. Thank you for taking the time to be a part of my life. I hope that when I return our lives will continue to encourage one another.

Going North

2010-08-20T12:00:00.000-07:00

Wednesday July 21, 2010

Ever since I heard there were medieval castles in northern Ethiopia, I have been pining to go on a quest to find them and therefore at the absolute last minute and completely spur of the moment I decided to throw caution to the wind and go. I found myself heading north at 4am Saturday night/Sunday morning on what can only be titled an epic adventure. To avoid exhaustive description and superfluous sentences I will limit the details of my trip to the four main attractions.

1)Spent Sunday afternoon cruising Lake Tana, on which the “city” of Bahir Dar is situated. The boat, although less than “complete” in the hippo and crocodile infested waters, made it around the lake with minimal bailing. While Lake Tana is simply a beautiful (and shockingly clean, by Ethiopian standards) vista, what is hidden on the islands and far shores is far more spectacular. Century old monasteries adorned with biblical murals and cross-wielding priests live in near isolation on self-sustainable convents. What interested me most, however, was that some of the monasteries may have been sites of pre-Christian shrines, although they were built in the 16th and 17th centuries, well after Jesus supposedly attempted to impose Christianity on the Ethiopian people. All the churches are built in the orthodox Christian style, which is quite yurt-like, with separate entrances for men and women, if women are allowed at all. I learned, after being spit on by a sister, that you must take off your shoes before entering. And because it is Ethiopia, it is customary to tip the priest, who offers a gentle reminder with his outstretched hand.

2)Monday I made my way up to Gonder (where the castles are!) by spending another 3 hours jammed into an overfilled mini-van type taxi. To be honest, aside from the biggest tree I have ever seen in the town square, the previous capital of Ethiopia looks exactly like every other place here. In the valley, tin-roof shacks line the streets and although significantly smaller, the merkato there is just as frustrating. But I was warned: “it’s not what Gonder is, but what it was” that’s truly spectacular. And it’s true. Presiding over the city are the walls of medieval style castles that predate that era in Europe. How they were built, where the architecture came from is all part of the mystery. What is clear is that each dynasty built their own castle, complete with lion cages. I think the best description is its nickname: The Camelot of Africa. Only it’s real, I promise.

3)Upon returning to Bahir Dar and after seriously catching up on sleep, I suffered serious bumps and bruises taking the rocky road out to the village of Tis Isat site of the Blue Nile Falls. Which were not blue. At all. It was a brown and mucky mess product of the rainy season, but powerful and amazing all the same, and actually more so because it was the rainy season. I have a personal affinity for waterfalls and this did not disappoint, although apparently they were even more magnificent before the hydroelectric project upstream stole most of falls energy. But really in the end, hydroelectric project and Ethiopia in the same sentence is probably the most magnificent combination in the world. The sun even came out long enough to witness a beautiful rainbow and I left damp from the mist, rising out of the gorge. At the convergence water pours over the cliffs into a chasm that cannot even be seen because the mist is so thick and overwhelming. Tis Isat, the name of the village, literally means “water that smokes” and I don’t think I could describe it any better.

4)A lot of ridiculous things happen to me. I am like a magnet for the absurd. If you don’t know me, just take this at face value. Think of the most ridiculous thing to happen to you, multiply by 10 and subtract 5, just for good measure and you get my life. But of all the ridiculous things to ever happen to me this tops the chart. This goes off the chart. The 9 hour journey back to Addis pretty much exceeded all my expectations of ridiculous, so much so that I don’t even know what the right word would be. What goes above and beyond, outlandish, preposterous, outrageous? Because that’s what this was. Ok so here goes.

Remember the furry taxis? Well I decided to take one home to Addis, only it wasn’t furry. Thinking they wouldn’t jam as many people into it for 9 hours, I thought I was scoring the deal of a lifetime. I was wrong. There are 11 legitimate seats in a mini-van taxi. Over the course of the journey we fit 16 adults, one child, one rooster and a goat (that was later removed and tied to the roof…it was pouring rain). So after the taxi gets underway, the four men squashed into the three seats behind me start passing a flask. As they get more and more inebriated one of the gentlemen takes a firm grip on my pig-tails and begins to “milk” them for lack of a better term. This goes on past hilarity and into annoyance at which point I put an end to the madness and try to sleep for a couple of hours. Oh yes, have I mentioned this taxi ride is from 7pm – 5am?

So we take our one bathroom/stretch break and the man with the goat climbs on top of the car, grabs the animal by its neck and checks to see if it is still alive, which it is, only I'm sure it's in sever shock. Then he proceeds to fight with the driver and I can just assume it’s about bringing the sopping wet animal back into the taxi. I am going to let my reaction to that one go unsaid.

Around 3am the taxi arrives at the Nile crossing, a beautiful bridge built for the Millennium, and monitored by the army. A soldier with a large gun opens the door and asks to see identification cards which he briefly considers before returning them to their owners. Finally he receives my passport and as he realizes where I am from his face lights up, I mean it really begins to glow in the yellow hue of the flashlight. With haste he passes his automatic weapon off to the child and begins to unbutton his uniform, pausing only to lift a finger in the “wait one second, don’t go anywhere gesture.” As if I could. So as the uniform looses, the soldier draws it back to reveal a tee-shirt bearing Barack Obama’s face with the slogan “Proud to be American.” Smile and nod, smile and nod.

At 5am the rooster in the taxi went off…

One Week To Go

2010-08-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

Friday July 16, 2010

I do this annoying thing when I wake up in the morning that I can’t describe better than a need to situate myself in time. I compare the day to larger life events, comings and goings, holidays, due-dates, birthdays etc. I say for example, “this time last week we were leaving for Awassa” or “this time last year I was moving.” It has been a habit of mine for as long as I can remember. Something that I have always needed to do to align my thoughts with reality. So now that I have revealed just how absolutely crazy I am on this oh so public forum I will make my point, and that is that it occurred to me today that, “this time next week will be my last day in Ethiopia.” Sadly, that is the next and most significant milestone. It is no longer logical to calculate how long it has been since my arrival, I am now on the tail end, making the final countdown, playing the bottom of the ninth, you can choose your favorite cliché.

Consequently this all means that I am now thinking about “going back home.” That phrase catches in my throat. And while I am being honest, this is something else I tend to do: to make something real, when I need to convince myself of something, I say it out loud. So, for two reasons, I literally choke over the words.

The first is I hate “good-byes.” They turn me into this incredibly awkward person. And if you heard me say this before it’s because I dread good-byes so much that mull over how awkward the encounter will be days beforehand. I would much rather leave than say goodbye. I honestly think it would be beneficial to all parties if I forwent this traditional social edict and just slipped out.

The second reason is perhaps a little harder to explain.

Dickens wrote “There is nothing harder than being given your chance.” Well I feel as though I have had my chance, I have realized a major dream of mine. This is my dream. And there are days I feel a though this opportunity happened to me. As much as I would like to believe that I drove my life in this direction, it simply isn’t true. This opportunity happened upon me, it was luck, fate, what was meant to be and stuff like that simply doesn’t happen too often. So the hardest part is what will do now that I have been given my chance, going home means “what happens now?”

Going home. Moving forward, but also backward at the same time, it’s a funny contradiction that makes me understand that what I am returning to can never be the same as what I left because I am not the same. So then maybe the contradiction is not in going back home, but in myself.

List It Out

2010-07-22T03:23:00.000-07:00

Wednesday July 14, 2010

As my time in Ethiopia comes to a close all my lingering questions, concerns and discomfort subside and I realize, in the face of leaving how much I have fallen in love with this country. But with any great love you have to embrace the good with the bad, so here is the official list, the likes and dislikes of Ethiopia:

Likes:

1)The people, so friendly, joyous. They will go way out of their way to help you. They love saying hello.
2)Coffee, Coffee, Coffee…best I’ve had anywhere in the world!
3)Taxis- it’s an experience every time. Whether I am sitting next to a bag of onions, livestock, a person just eager to demonstrate his English, or some seriously faux fur.
4)The greeting. You start by shaking hands then lean in and bump right shoulders. It’s catchy!
5)The technology is from about 1995, at first I thought this would be frustrating, but it’s actually nice to be disconnected most of the time.
6)The bread. No matter what time a day it feels like it just came from the oven. It is everything a piece of bread should be, crisp and flakey on the outside smooth and fluffy on the inside, with that insatiable smell.
7)The cultural food in general. Yup, I’m shocked too, but it’s really growing on me to the point of genuine enjoyment.
8)That is totally acceptable for 2 or more men to walk down the street hand in hand.

Dislikes:
1.Carcasses- you would be surprised at the discarded bones and goat skulls lying in the street being consumed by bugs. Actually you may not be as surprised as disguised; I gag a little every time.
2.Being called at “Hey You” about every 20 feet of everywhere I go. Clearly I can’t blend in so people are constantly trying to get my attention.
3.The openness of bodily functions. No tissue, pick your nose. Can’t reach, hack and fling. Need a bathroom? That row of (insert anything here) looks good.
4.Tossing trash wherever it pleases. Don’t litter, Save the Earth!
5.The snapping. I know it’s totally culturally acceptable to snap your fingers to get the attention of waiters or in a person’s face to elicit a response, but I can’t get over it. It’s culturally ingrained in me that snapping is rude. Maybe it’s the fact that I was a waitress for far too long.
6.99% of the time I am terrified of the moving vehicle I am in (I guess rightfully so).

Awassa

2010-07-22T03:21:00.000-07:00

Monday July 12, 2010

I know I’m supposed to be saving the world and all, but even the greatest of superheroes needs a vacation, and so this weekend found five of us crammed into a Toyota traveling 5 hours south to the “city” of Awassa. Although I had every intention of taking an extended nap with the sun on my face and the rock of the car, I couldn’t bring myself to close my eyes to the rapidly changing scenery. After the smog of Addis cleared we traveled though farmlands, mountains and deserts past greenhouses, steel factories and mud huts. We dodged cattle, donkeys, goats, monkeys and tuck-tucks. We waved to men in fields and children finding shade in desert trees or twisted into the curves of the oversized oaks.

Then we arrived in Awassa. I would be lying if I said the city itself is worth the drive. Actually, the drive is worth the drive, Awassa is nothing more than a large strip of hotels and bars, maybe worthy of a short stroll and nothing more. However, on the outskirts of the town lay Lake Awassa, inundated with hippos and Rastafarians willing to boat you just a little too close. Note to all adrenaline junkies, like myself, being 30 feet in a glorified row boat from the most deadly animal in Africa certainly does the trick; especially when they disappear under the murky water and high grass only to bob to the surface slightly closer.

The next day was equally entertaining as we spent the morning hand-feeding wild monkeys and watching the early morning fishermen cast their nets. There is something so natural about eating the morning catch lake side and chatting with the man who brought it in. Fried in huge barrels we burn our fingers picking apart our breakfast fish and pulling the bones from our teeth.

We broke up the drive home with a stop at some hot springs for a “shower” and left again gnawing on freshly harvested sugar cane. After pulling all the sweetness from the wood we shucked it out the windows with our teeth (sorry to dentists all around the world). It was necessary to stop one more time to purchase honey comb and again, nothing went to waste, not even the waxy texture of the comb itself.

By far the highlight of the trip, however, was enjoying each other’s company duck-side. Literally, we ate nightly at this restaurant whose “fire pit” was in the shape of a giant duck, aflame all night. And that right there is the prime example of all the humor that is Ethiopia. Of all the absurdities…

Hippos and Zebras

2010-07-14T02:06:00.000-07:00

Friday July 9, 2010

I have been seriously slacking on the blogging but that is only because I have been finding a multitude of other ways to keep busy (and once the World Cup ends on Sunday my free time will grow exponentially)!

It goes without saying that the children in foster are growing daily. With the arrival of more volunteers came more books so we have expanded into Safari animals! I am thrilled to announce they are confusing zebras with cows and hippos with fish. I view this with enthusiasm because it means that they are making they are making the connection black and white animal = cow; animal in water = fish. The differentiation will come later and for now they are really observing and crossing knowledge over between books. Simply never cease to amaze me!

The shop women are furiously crafting 1,000 bracelets to be sold state side (plug!) and arguing logos, although I am still pretty sure the point of why this is important is lost in translation. They are also knitting adorable booties in colors of choice, so while you excuse my not so subtle hints, check those out on your next trip to Ethiopia!

I went back up the mountain of Entoto to the school for the HIV children on Thursday and met some of the children’s families with Mesfia (Yemamau’s friend). At this time food money has dried up so he can no longer provide the children a meal and consequently attendance has dropped nearly 30%. The purpose of the family visits was simply to show his devotion and encourage continued attendance. My purpose was simply to take pictures so that he could have more to show potential benefactors.

We first met a group of previous students selling boiled sweet potatoes on the side of the road and another working 1 of 3 crisscrossed looms taking up the entire home. He was making these beautiful white linen scarves traditionally worn by the orthodox Christian women. The homes wore dung huts with thatched roofs. My arm span is a pretty accurate measure of their size and six is the average number of children in a family. The purpose of the home is solely for sleeping. All other activities are done in the communal cooking hut or outside.

Aside from soccer the children entertain themselves with hop-scotch etched into the dirt and jump rope, and undeterred by their bare feet and tattered clothes, race through the woods and fields. A young boy is tasked with keeping the herds for the day. He relaxes in the field practicing his whip cracking and the most trouble he encounters comes from the other children being mischievous but the bulls with gigantic horns apparently pose no threat.

Being up on the mountain again I began thinking about this completely contrary life to Addis; completely pastoral living that we might be too quick to condemn for its simplicity. But then who am I to judge what is “better.” These people may not be literate or technologically say but they know their land better than anything. They know what to do with it, how to live off it, they have a different, perhaps even more important kind of knowledge because it enables them to survive. The children might be dirty, they might be hungry or sick, but still, I can’t help but think that they are better off, living fresh from the squalor of Addis.

I often consider that Ethiopia developed too quickly for its own good. It avoided colonization, which preserved a beautiful culture, but then Ethiopia got caught in globalization, the modern world forced its self upon this nation; ready or not. The result is a half-way effect. They have modern machines but no controls on pollution, road-construction or traffic, technology but no one skilled enough to operate it, and the accessibility to information but lack of literacy. To top it off the cultural mindset would lead any typical Westerner into impatient chaos. But then again, maybe that is our own American downfall. I am finally getting around to reading a book by an Ethiopian author, Dinaw Mengestu. The other day he told me that Americans are always racing, we have this insatiable need to be the first to do something and as a result we have an antipathy toward the past. “We raced across America to get to the Pacific, and then we raced to build a railroad to connect it all. We raced to the moon. We raced to build as many bombs as was humanly possible. I wonder if now we haven’t run out of things to race against. I think the moment that happens we’ll have nothing to do but look back. Then we’ll know if it was worth it.”

So as my time here continues to rapidly wane I have decided to stop racing with it; to embody Ethiopians so to speak. Most of the time I have to check myself anyway because I am still in awe that this is my life. How did I get so lucky as to be living out this dream? It’s like when you hear sirens on the streets of any major city. They are at first faint but then growing louder with each passing second, people begin to strain to see, traffic clears the center of the street and of course there are those who feign comfort, pretend they cannot be bothered. The sound quickly takes over, burning the ears, refusing to be ignored. Then there is no other option but to watch the parade of police, fire trucks, ambulances, or possibly black SUVs or a stretch limo lead by the flags of some far off place and wonder, “what is of such great importance?” At the moment it barely registers. And maybe only later when catching a glimpse at the news is the witnessed moment connected to something greater, and maybe it is completely fleeting to be forgotten as the sounds recede in to the distance and everyone resumes their lives. But the point is, for that one moment, every ordinary person is fulfilling their role as observers and time is temporally suspended.

That is precisely how these last months have been to me and what they have meant I am only just beginning to discover. I am an observer, nothing greater. Still, as such, I bear a great responsibility that will continue to work itself out in meaning for the rest of my life. In the end I am, grasping on with white knuckles to what I can and hoping the meaning comes later.

Entoto

2010-07-12T04:34:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the delay

Saturday July 3 2010

Exhaustion doesn’t even begin to describe my current ability to function. Zombie might be a more accurate description of how I look and feel. As the Uruguay-Ghana game went into overtime and kick-offs the anxiety and excitement of Millennium hall was thick and tangible. Packed into a huge hall was several thousand Ethiopians, all hope hanging on their African counterparts playing in the quarter-finals. The dream of the first African team to go to the semi-finals and possibly play for the title piled on top of the first time Africa has hosted the World Cup. No less than ten big screens broadcasted the game in what can only be described as a stadium simulation. Then there was silence as we shuffled out of the hall, disappointment and sadness, but in true Ethiopian fashion no display of emotion.

As the city woke this morning, back to its typical Saturday morning bustle, no one wanted to talk about it. It’s just over. And World Cup excitement has almost completely diminished.

Out early, I met with one of Yemamu’s childhood friends, Mesfia, for breakfast and a trip up the mountain of Entoto. Although only about 20 minutes north of the city, the atmosphere feels like another world. The misty, cool forests are vaguely reminiscent of the jungles of Hawaii and the rolling green fields made me believe I had traveled back to pastoral Europe. Just as a reminder though, from the octagonal shaped Entoto Maryam Chuch is a beautiful view of Addis, provided the sun burns off the smog.

Past the small village and the makeshift soccer field is a small plot of land donated to Mesfia for his mission. He built a small wooden frame and a couple of benches and covered it in several tarps, establishing the village’s first school. About 50 children come daily (and more when he can afford to provide a meal) with their one notebook and pen to learn. There are no school supplies, blackboard, desks or books, just children huddled together taking in the oral lesson of the teacher and yet it is more than has ever before been offered.

An astounding 85% of the community is HIV positive and has therefore been left largely neglected. Living in even more astounding poverty than those in the city, the women carry back-breaking bundles of wood down the mountain every morning to sell in market only to return to care for their children, who never cease to amaze me with their ability to be children. After an epic game of soccer and lots of time spent touching my skin and hair, they filled me with questions about my favorite food, sport, animal, music, everything. And as I tried to come up with answers they could relate to (my favorite food is clearly shiro!) I realized how just how many worlds apart we grew up. It probably should be redundant to me at this point, obvious all the opportunities I had that they will never, but for some reason it became so much more apparent trying to answer these simple questions that all children everywhere ask, exactly the same. I think that is what baffled me the most. The questions where the same, much like children all over the world are filled with that sense of joy and wonder. Where we change, where our inherent qualities become cloudy is in our exposure and witness to nearly everything (or nothing).

Dinaw Mengestu reminisces about growing up in Ethiopia as he writes, “Our memories are like a river cut off from the ocean. With time they will slowly dry out in the sun, and so we drink and drink and drink and we can never have our fill.” The Beautiful Things That Heaven Bears

A Little of This, A Little of That...

2010-07-05T03:50:00.000-07:00

Friday July 2, 2010

I have spent the last 48 hours mentally preparing myself to go to Merkato for the umpteenth time and no amount of preparation can ready oneself for Merkato during a down pour. The mission: a cabinet or shelving unit and some comfortable floor pillows for the play room behind the third foster care home.

To back up for a moment, Kate, another summer volunteer, and I have spent the past week compiling all the donated toys, games, books and crafts not yet divided amongst the houses. After divining up the goods to the appropriate ages, we brought the surplus to a closet-room, out-housed behind the foster care of the oldest kids. The plan for the future (which is a common phrase here, whenever you see a half-built building) is to have a space available for one-on-one play, counseling and therapy.

While the space now looks great and the cabinet was a shockingly easy purchase, the rain and quest for big floor pillows coincided creating mayhem. No less than four gentlemen took it upon themselves to “help” us. Lack of success diverted our attention to a man selling alphabet posters, but the pillow guys were determined, still stuffing them in our faces trying to make a deal, all the while we are getting soaked.

Yemamu and I followed this expedition up with a second trip to Merkato today and the downpour did not cease. We went back to our string dealer for enough to make 1,000 braided bracelets for On Their Own. The vender wasn’t their when we got to his stall, and so the ink guy across the way called him. Five minutes he said. Nearly forty-five minutes later he comes strolling back in. My desperation to wait was only outweighed by my desired to avoid coming back a third day. And while you might think there are several other people who sell embroidery sting, shockingly he is the only one, although there is a surplus of knitting yarn. The first time the string was B15 a spool, the second B12, and today only 9 birr. That’s what a “relationship,” a long wait and a bulk purchase will get you!

I have also been spending a lot more time with the three oldest girls at Foster Care now that school is out for the summer. At ten and eleven, they are significantly older than the other children there and so they come and eat lunch with me, in our newly furnished room, and we do manicures or play games like jenga, uno and of course jump rope. I have been teaching them chants: “Strawberry-shortcake with cream on top…” My highly skilled jump roping days of elementary school are finally paying off.

Childhood and adolescents as we know it are completely by-passed here. Culturally children go from being babies to adults. As young as seven, they become responsible for their younger siblings and go to work as shoe-shiners or gum and cigarette sellers to help the family. Only the very lucky ones get to go to school, and even that is tentative on the family’s situation. I love playing with the girls at foster because in some ways, they get to be the adolescent that I was. They get to come home from school to a snack and play time and they are forever coming up with creative games and acting the older sisters to all the other children.

They are at that awful, awkward, tough middle school age that I look back on and still dread. Not the fondest memories. However, so much is learned at this time. It is the beginning of a lifetime of personal discovery, who you are and more importantly who you never want to be. It is a time of “emerging from innocents” and therefore crucially important to expose them to positive influences. Our language connection is strained and the differences of our personal histories make total connection difficult but there is something so simple and empowering about spending time with these girls. It makes a difference to them. Makes them feel special to not just be lumped with all the other children, whose thoughts, emotions, feelings, worries and excitements , while just as valid, are not the same. The reward is the smile on their face when you arrive, how excited they get when you want to take a picture with them or even simply that you asked how their week is going and then how genuinely interested you are in their answer.

The setting: An Ethiopian Spin Class

2010-07-02T06:07:00.000-07:00

Wednesday June 30, 2010

Yes I found one and it is unique to say the least. Any trainer in the US would go crazy with anxiety watching these guys doing a Harlem shake and bouncing back and forth to the music as their knees waver in and out. Most even take off their seat to get a broader range of body-flinging motion. The music is so loud (like everything else in Ethiopia) that the instructor whistles commands at us, while he dances around the room drinking orange soda. If I paid attention for the whole hour I wouldn’t be able to tolerate it very long, but I am grateful for the bike and so I just tune it out and do my own thing. However, if ever in Ethiopia I highly recommend as a cultural adventure.

It’s been a long time since I have committed myself to writing because I have been that really great kind of busy where stuff actually gets accomplished. I am fairly certain that the increase in the quality of my morning coffee has had a direct effect on my productivity level. With the arrival of Joan and Neeah, two Occupational Therapists, came a French press…NO MORE INSTANT! So as I sit here with my fabulously bohemian clay mug, purchased from the foreigner haven NGO bazaar, I feel clear headed in a way that only rich caffeine can provide.

But the NGO bazaar got me thinking. What is so fabulous there that foreigners flock? Literally we line up outside at 8:30 on a Saturday morning to get the prime pick. Why doesn’t this happen at the bazaars the Kechene women attend? Well the answer is simple. The NGO venders all offer completely unique wares that beautifully interweave Ethiopian culture with foreigner appeal and wear-ability, while the Kechene women offer much the same as every other typical Ethiopian tourist shop. So now the question becomes: how do we get Kechene products up to NGO bazaar standards so they can hold a monthly spot their too?

The shop women have maintained a stand at a bazaar all last week and are attending a new one this week. I am not sure how successful these bazaar stands are, but based on my observations from the NGO fair, my intuition tells me that they do not do so well. I went to visit them last Wednesday and while they are proud, they are not selling. This is not to say they don’t have exceptional crafting talent, it’s just the variety and uniqueness of execution gets lost. However, it is still really great for the women to be able to get their wares “out there” a little more.

Ideas. They need fresh ideas. And so I have been working on differentiation techniques with some of the Gladney staff who help support the shop. Some suggestions have to do with product, what do American families (bringing home a new child or two) want to buy? Because certainly the last thing they want to occupy their mind is how to pack a coffee ceremony or tribal drum set, which both are currently occupying places of honor in the shop. Families are not your typical tourists and frankly, if you want to be a typical tourist I would not recommend Ethiopia.

What I want to work on is marketing the Kechene shop based on the women themselves. They have such incredible stories and in my completely unbiased opinion, are deserving of business over any competing shop. They need a support system, a way to get their stories even further and this would lead to greater success in the shop. Right now I am helping them devise a “logo” (thanks mom) a depiction of who these women are, that can be embroidered or imprinted on all their handcrafted pieces. Having a “look” is an important first step. And I think from creating a unique insignia follows more creativity of product, focus of demography and awareness of quality.

So why this arduous explanation? Because we need help! It is obvious based on my experience thus far that buying chackies unique to Ethiopia is important, but there is a balance between being “culturally Ethiopian” and “glaringly Ethiopian.” Which if you don’t know what I mean picture Rastafarian with some extra flare. Now that’s a hard sell to your average American. Working through some new product ideas I can handle, though suggestions are always welcome. Where I am struggling is how else can we let the world know about these women? How can we get tourists to choose the Kechene shop over the Leper shop or some random tourist trap at Piazza? It might be hard to picture never having been here, but we are in a great bustling location and trust me, in Ethiopia, customer service is not a problem.

So in the end, I wrote this blog to ask for help. To plead for suggestions. E-mail me! (lmoskowitz@moskow.us) Thoughts, ideas, questions, concerns, wishes, hopes and dreams, all is welcome.

To Gladney's Families

2010-06-27T06:18:00.000-07:00

Since my arrival in Ethiopia, reading with your children has been a pleasure and joy. Every day they astound me as they make connections and grow exponentially!

Reading aloud has been deemed “the single most important activity” for the growth and development of children, both cognitively and emotionally. Reading is truly an enjoyment based activity. Just as we talk to children to reassure, entertain, bond, explain or inspire, we can read to accomplish all these feelings and more. Reading builds vocabulary, it creates a natural opportunity to connect with children focusing around something pleasant and it creates the groundwork for life-long reading, life-long learning.

My goals are simple. Primarily I want your children to enjoy reading, to enjoy their time with me while actively learning. With the use of board books, I am exposing them to colors, numbers, animals, the alphabet, and more; but all that comes secondary to just hearing words as I read and connecting them to the illustrations. Even if this connection is unconscious, on some level it is there and will be retained. Later, the need for illustrations decreases as the imagination takes over.

My second and most important goal is to ease the transition of your children from our Foster Care to their home with you. Incorporating reading time with your child will create a familiar and enjoyable link.

They are always excited to see me walk into their room with my pile of reading material. I guarantee they will be increasingly interested to read personally with you and providing that time will be a wonderful way to simplify this incredibly huge transition.

I have compiled a list of the books we enjoy. The reading list below is divided into two categories: daily reads, which they will practically know by heart, and longer books that I incorporate less frequently for a change of pace, to add length and breadth to their attention span and to peak their curiosity of what might come. Plus they just love surprises! Although comprehension and familiarity is much less with these books, offering new material occasionally works to increase vocabulary and the children show a great interest in new illustrations.

As you already know, I cherish the time spent with your children. Thank you.

Daily Reads:
• Hand Hand Fingers Thumb by Al Perkins*
• Click Clack 1,2,3 by Doreen Cronin and Betsy Lewin
• Where Is Babies Belly Button? by Karen Katz*
• Good Night Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
• Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin Jr. and John Archambault *
• Moo, Baa, La La La by Sandra Boynton*
• Barnyard Dance by Sandra Boynton
• Hey! Wake Up! by Sandra Boynton
• Blue Hat, Green Hat by Sandra Boynton
• Oh My Oh My Dinosaurs by Sandra Boynton*
• But Not The Hippopotamus by Sandra Boynton
• Pajama Time by Sandra Boynton

Periodic Reads:
• How Do I Love You? by Marion Dan Bauer
• Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss
• One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss
• ABC by Dr. Seuss
• Go Dogs Go! by Dr. Seuss
• The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
• Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? by Eric Carle
• The Grouchy Ladybug by Eric Carle
• What’s Wrong Little Pookie? by Sandra Boynton
• Lets Dance Little Pookie by Sandra Boynton
• He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands by Kadir Nelson*

*Indicates children’s favorites!

For more information and detailed research on the read-aloud program check out: www.trelease-on-reading.com/rah-ch1.html

Rain

2010-06-20T05:32:00.000-07:00

Sunday June 20, 2010

The minute I went to step out today the rain came pouring down. Have I mentioned its rains every day? At least it is nice in the mornings and the showers only come in the afternoons otherwise I would be getting really depressed. The droplets right now are as big as hail stones and some even round off that visual effect as they rickashay off the tin roofs. It makes me grateful to have a real roof and a hot cup of tea, but it also pains me as I think about the thousands of people all around me whose roofs are leaking and whose floors are washing away.

I got frustrated at the sudden down pour cramping my afternoon, as I scurried back through my gate trying to get into my warm home. Then while fiddling with the lock I glanced down my street to see a woman with her skirt hiked up to her knees sliding in her rubber sandals pushing rocks up against the metal wall of her house. She was either trying to keep it from falling or keep the water from rushing under.

Squinting my eyes against the golf ball sized droplets I waddled down the street to help her. Upon noticing my presence she disappeared inside and produced an umbrella for me. She actually thought I wanted to watch her struggle (not an uncommon thing for an Ethiopian, around every man changing a tire or hauling rocks at a construction site, there is a spectator group there to offer “expert advice”). “No,” I shouted, “I help” and even when I refused the umbrella she didn’t understand until I started passing rocks to her. I think I made her uncomfortable, like she was supposed to be hospitable towards me, and I had somehow breached my role as her guest with my attempt to help.

When you are a foreigner in Ethiopia every person looks upon you as their personal “company.” If you are a visitor to their country, you are a visitor to them personally, and therefore it is their job to meet your needs and have something to offer. There I was, wanting nothing but to keep her house standing, and she is insisting that I go inside, sit down and accept some coffee. In such a hostess flurry, she was even insisting that I stop passing the rocks to her. Politely refusing my hand-off was more like it, and naturally so, as if refusing a drink or second-helpings.

My attempts being thwarted, I shuffled back home drenched and jumped immediately in the hot shower, (yes, the water came back on Friday evening!), even more frustrated than when the rain began. Why would someone refuse that kind of help? Is it pride, disbelief, or some overly ingrained cultural teaching? If I weren’t so obviously a foreigner would she have accepted me? Have we done a disservice to Ethiopians, aiding them so completely, that they feel the need to act subservient towards us?

I experience the host/guest role nearly every day in almost every interaction. Although it makes me uncomfortable about 99% of the time, I make an attempt to stifle this discomfort and replace it with graciousness. As a very self-reliant person, it goes against my very being to be offered things and then be waited on, especially in places where I feel at home. It goes against my grain even more when an Ethiopian tries to hand-feed me (supposedly an act of respect that I just find yucky). In general, I am not shy and if I want something I will get it or make it happen. But still, as I dry off and decompress, what happened last hour bothers me, even more it hurts me. Her situation was desperate, how could she conceive I came over to distract from what she was doing? Why would she imagine that I put myself in her way just to be served? Is that really the reputation foreigners have made for themselves in Ethiopia?

There is this quote that I recall from my thesis research that stands out at this moment and I apologize because I don’t remember who actually wrote it, but they said, “It is almost a universal human trait to devalue what you know and value what everyone else knows.” But why?

No Water!

2010-06-20T05:27:00.000-07:00

Friday June 18, 2010

Day 4, no water. I am actually considering going out into the pouring rain to shower. Any thoughts or experience with this course of action. It’s really only bearable for three reasons: 1) The landlord provides me with a small barrel each afternoon for cooking and toilet flushing, 2) Rhonda (a play therapist volunteer here this week) is in good spirits about it too and 3) the electricity has been relatively reliable these days, only going out twice. There is really nothing that can be done but laugh. The lack of water is not the true problem, after all I can only start smelling Ethiopian rather than “bad”; the issue is there is no measurable way to determine when it will come back on. It could be next hour, tomorrow, or in two months. And I am assured that, unlike in the US, no one is really working that hard to fix this predicament.

Despite all this I had a major breakthrough with some of the older kids at Foster. I literally had an adrenaline rush, which is a good thing for me because I’m sort of a junkie. As I was casually reading “Goodnight Moon,” as I do every day, one of the girls connected the “cow jumping over the moon” to the sound cow make; then more associated “two little kittens” with the sound of a cat. They have known their “barnyard” animal noises for weeks now, however always in the context of the story, “Moo, Baa, La La La,” which explicitly teaches what animals say. This connection between books really shows that they are comprehending rather than just memorizing, which it totally the next step. A big success!

Merkato (again)

2010-06-16T06:12:00.000-07:00

Wednesday June 16, 2010

UGGGG! Back to Merkato yesterday. But it was much better than before because I didn’t go at it alone this time. I brought one of the girls from the shop came with me and we bought things I wouldn’t have otherwise considered as she explained how they would craft them. There were other things to, like medium sized knitting needles that they needed and were using to weave the braids tighter. It makes sense, but it’s all that crafty stuff that I would never consider.

But here is the other thing that makes me crazy about Merkato, and it has nothing to do with negotiating prices or the nonsensical arrangement of the booths. It is that everyone involves themselves in your business. I think people literally hang around Merkato just to claim they “assisted” and hold out their hand for money. As we were leaning up against out taxi, having a discussion about how we would use what we just bought and what else we needed three guys came into our audience, one of whom took it upon himself to try and offer his expert opinion. Then he proceeded to follow us around and jump on the answers to my questions directed at Yemamu, in incomprehensible English. When I tried to offer a reasonable price, he thwarted my negotiation, by explaining why the stall-keeper wanted what he asked. “Very precious beads, of course.” Distracting as this was, the problem really arose when he demanded money of me for his “negotiation” and “directional” services. Um sorry sir, no, this would have been even more productive and efficient if you neglected to “help.” Sometimes watching is helping.

I am excited to see what the women will do with the supplies. I am kind of talking a step back on this one. It is kind of an experiment to see what they produce when “on their own.” After I explained a little, and vetoed materials that were simply to gaudy and flashy, I want to see what they will come up with that can possibly be marketed in the US. Ethiopian style does not generally mesh with the typical American audience, and that is why I think they girls struggle at the shop, because their target audience is the families. It’s a difficult balance because I don’t want to be down on their cultural crafts, nor do seek to discourage them completely, but we need to achieve some balance between “cultural” and “wearable.”

Supplies are not a problem. I know I can literally find anything at a better than reasonable price and the women are really crafty, so any suggestions, things you would be interested in wearing, shoot me an e-mail. As always, I am open to anything and willing to try even more!

Opposites

2010-06-16T06:02:00.000-07:00

Monday June 14, 2010

Ethiopia is all in a tizzy. It feels like a light has turned on. There is this tangible atmosphere of excitement and energy radiating from the World Cup. I have been walking the streets in the evenings just to pick up on the liveliness all around. The shouts of support or disappointment shooting out of the bars overlaid by the screams of the announcer and crowd on the television, or the groups huddled around a handheld radio talking turns pushing it to their ears to get the play-by-play over the roar of traffic and the static.

This past week has been incredible. And change seems to be the theme. Everything has been turning around, starting fresh. Several volunteers are here now, and combined with the extensive training the caregivers just underwent, Foster is buzzing with energy. My job has become slightly more challenging because the kids are all “riled up” from their previous activity. But I would prefer them making transitions between different kinds of play rather than arriving to them already sitting still and quiet.

The other day, a kind of rainy indoor day, I walked into the foster care house for the oldest kids and the entire floor was covered in ripped paper that they were rolling in, sliding around, and throwing in a snow-ball fight fashion. They didn’t even notice my arrival they were so absorbed and having just this amazingly pure fun. Once they were given the tools, the caregivers have impressed me with their skills and creativity involving activities for the kids.

Today also marks the one month mark of reading! And while the changes are specific and unique toeachroom, each child and sometimes so slight that no one would really take note, I guarantee every child has made some new connection. They have gone from not recognizing animals, to knowing what all the barnyard animals say, from not differentiating colors to matching illustrations to the color of their clothes! And most importantly, they are still not board with me as I worried they might become! I am so impressed by their interest, attention, participation and absorption of information. I had another volunteer do some video of reading time, and as I was reviewing the tapes, I realized how much I miss when I am absorbed in reading and maintaining attention. The children who are strong participants I know, of course, but the camera picked up on lots of subtle moments I never would have noticed. Toddlers “trying out” animal noises’, experimenting with sounds and words very quietly, and the older kids pointing and discussing some illustration in whispered voices, they are all finding some way to involve themselves further in what I only initiate.

To completely (and oh so subtly) change topics, the Kechene Women at the shop finished a different kind of project. They made 65 braided bracelets with button clasps and many chose to weave the buttons into their braiding as well. They are all unique and rather cute; however the quality and imagination really depended on the crafter. I let them go on this one, gave them the supplies and the basic outline of what I wanted and told them to be creative. I really wanted to see their capabilities and creativity and I was not disappointed.

There is this book of opposites that I have been reading with the kids (Oh My Oh My Dinosaurs! by Sandra Boynton) and they way everything has flipped reminds me of that now. Truly Ethiopia reminds me every day of opposing forces. Things that shouldn’t go together anywhere else, here they do. It is a blending of old world and modernity, cultural and international, change and stagnant stubbornness. The same is true for my life here, I feel as though the opposing (and much more positive) side has come out in the past month bringing energy and enthusiasm, not only for me, but for the kids and the Kechene women, as well. Just like the World Cup has changed the climate of Ethiopia, I feel the changing atmosphere all around me.

Teachers

2010-06-09T04:05:00.000-07:00

Tuesday June 8, 2010

I’m LEGAL! Got my passport with visa back in less than 15 minutes from immigration yesterday that has to be a new record!

I also developed a new method for easing my heart stings with the begging children. I have such a hard time passing them with a cold stare, especially since they single me out (for obvious reasons) over every other passer-by. But giving a birr to everyone is nearly impossible and I would be out of taxi fare in 50 feet. So I have resorted to buying a pack of gum for only one birr and passing out the sticks…its 5 for the price of 1! I piloted this program today with great success. And while I don’t mean to make light of such a desperate situation, a little humor is the only way for me to survive, to not feel overwhelming guilty walking down the street with a bag full of groceries on my way to my nice house.

Nicholas Kristof, co-author of Half the Sky, an amazing journalistic book that addresses the global issue of gendercide on a human level, spoke at my high school’s seminar day. While I am disappointed to have missed him, the reporting article quoted him as saying, “you have won the world’s lottery.” That has NEVER been more apparent to me until now. Until I slip pass those outstretched hands, the days begging’s clanging in the tiny palms. Could I live one week, one day, one week even pleading for survival? Could I pick my next meal from the filth and sewage? It takes more bravery, humility and destitute than I could ever imagine.

I have this philosophy, and it is most important for days, like today, when the guilt crushes me; when I begin to think “who am I to be this lucky?” And maybe it’s just something I need to believe, but I feel,hat the moment I begin to suffer guilt is the moment I lose my ability to serve objectively. To feel shame is to lose perspective. To let it reach your core is to lose strength. There is no way to help everybody. No one saves the world alone, so I must stay my course, stick to my goals and pray that there are more people filling in the gaps.

In the end, who are we not to enjoy life? I believe the human spirit is resilient beyond imagination, and goodness will always triumph. I believe in my part in that victory. Just because I get angry about injustice, frustrated with myself fro only being able to do so little, especially now, when it’s all right in front of me does not mean I neglect to realize the privilege I have of doing this work. And while I might be here to teach and observe, in the end, all those I meet, children and adults alike, have been my teachers. They have carved and shaped me in still unthinkable ways. They are the life’s lessons personified, I don’t know if I would otherwise learn. Their names and faces may be fleeting, on days memories, another days ghosts. But they should know, and they never will, that they have made my life triumphant, joyful and valid. They made me.

Immigration Round II

2010-06-09T04:04:00.000-07:00

Friday June 4, 2010

You know it’s bad when you begin making friend at the office of immigration. My passport have as well, because it is a having a full weekend sleepover.

I returned today at 1:40pm (20 minute early- can you tell I am a little anxious?) to pick up my passport and subsequent visa. As the pile of US passports began diminishing before me I began to get more and more nervous. “Great,” I’m thinking, “now that you LOST my passport I am going to have to rescind my statement about this being a relatively painless process.” Sure enough it wasn’t actually lost, just put in the “problem” pile. Apparently three days past expired incurs a $20 dollar fine, in addition to a $20 dollar renewal fee. So can’t I just go to the billing room and pay more money. Of course not, that would be logical. Instead, it’s back through the whole process: one form, six rooms, $20 more dollars, and a newly formed friendship with my interrogator and I should have a visa by Monday afternoon. I am still going to have to revoke yesterday’s statement! Especially since the computer system was down for the first hour I was there. I suppose I should be thankful that there is a computer system to begin with…

And so the saga continues. Hopefully, these entries don’t exceed a trilogy.

In other news, the Kechene women and I are starting another project on Tuesday. They will be braiding/knitting/weaving bracelets based on their specialty, with the sting I bought at Merkato. The clasp for the bracelets is a button, that I am pretty pround of purchasing, because I endured and negotiated Merkato solo. I would rather spend another day at immigration before navigating Merkato alone again. And considering that I typically love those types of places, that is saying a lot.
Merkato is just one of the most nonsensical situations I have ever been it. Finding the button guy was fairly easy, I made sure I had buttons on my shirt that day so I could communicate what I wanted to find and a backpack salesman actually gave me really great directions. But the button guy, who had millions of buttons in about 50 shoe boxes tried to convince me that each button was worth a birr. That would be about 7 cents a button, which seems a little ridiculous and would require counting out the big handfuls I wanted to buy. I asked him if he could charge me by the kilo rather than the piece, but no these buttons are “very precious.” Then I decided to just negotiate for a whole shoe box, even though it would be way more than I needed. One shoe box, containing thousands was starting price of 600 birr, so they’re not worth 1 birr a piece then. Every time I tried to bring the price down he kept saying, “We make good relationship for next time.” Yeah, okay. After a long convoluted negotiation, we settled on 200 birr for half a box. But the thing that I can’t understand and this happens repeatedly here, so I’m beginning to think it’s kind of an Ethiopian mentality, is why would someone rather have thousand of buttons that would take centuries to sell off, than a hundred birr today? This really not about the buttons specifically, but it’s an overarching concept here that I can’t seem to understand. Help!

Immigration

2010-06-09T04:03:00.000-07:00

Thursday June 3, 2010

Currently, my passport is not in my possession. This is probably the most frightening thing that can happen in a foreign country. It is currently residing in the office of immigration awaiting a stamp on my newly renewed visa, allowing me to stay in the country 60 more days, and more importantly allowing me to leave on my desired flight.

Renewing a visa in Ethiopia was shockingly one of the easiest things I’ve done. I only had to fill out one form, go to six different rooms at the office of immigration, be interrogated about my intentions for staying by two different people, pay $20, forfeit my passport, return the following day and help a lovely lady who couldn’t read English fill out her form. But even more surprising all of this only took three hours.

The upside is that I don’t have to be back to immigration until the afternoon, so I have the morning to go to foster, and won’t neglect the kids further.
The moral of this story is don’t let your visa expire, even if they did change the law the very same day you got on the plane and mid-air you were not aware that you can now only get a 30 day visa upon arrival and finally, don’t neglect to look at said visa until the first of the following month, 2 days too late.

June

2010-06-09T03:59:00.000-07:00

Wednesday June 2, 2010

It’s June!!!! That means I’ve been here a whole month already and my first question is: Where did the time go? June also signifies a month since I moved home from college (terrifying), the 6th month that I have been travelling (thrilling) and the last month that I am 22 (petrifying). But a month in a country also means that any lingering questions subside and I begin to really love where I am. I get comfortable, content and start saying, “I am living here.”

The kids at Foster are seriously getting jipped this week, and consequently I feel shorted too. Yesterday I had to move from my guesthouse to a rental and the only time for the landlord was during foster time. Tomorrow I have to go to immigration to straighten out some visa confusion (also brought on by June). I am not liking this every-other-day thing because it only confuses the kids. That being said, they have not missed a beat. They are not forgetting or losing momentum, but rather are eager and learning every day.

The oldest kids impress me the most. While I expected them to pick things up faster, I also thought they might get bored with board books. But they are really into their animal sounds, the alphabet and colors, especially matching the colors they’re wearing to the colors in the books. I never imagined that “Blue Hat, Green Hat” (by Sandra Boynton) could have long-term appeal to a six year old. They have gotten into this funny phase of repeating absolutely everything I say. Then I get sassy and start saying thing like, “I want a banana split” or “I’m a crazy little monkey!” just to hear them repeat it. I call them all my monkeys because of the saying: “monkey see, monkey do!” They like repeating that one.

Sometimes I worry if they are really “getting it,” because they copy everything I speak. If I pause to see if they will anticipate the next sound or word and call it out, they go silent too, waiting for me. I suspect they know, but repeating is such a strong habit. Every once in a while someone will “anticipate” and I get excited and point to them and say “yeah!” but then they get embarrassed and giggly, particularly the oldest children. I need to learn to contain my enthusiasm and then maybe they will call out more.

Even the room I was initially struggling in has picked up significantly. I now have three solid reliable participators daily and they are becoming much more attentive for a longer period of time. As always, they relish in their time to hold books. Now my challenge has shifted to the other toddler room, because I have nearly an entirely new group. Five from this room went home with their families, which is exciting and wonderful, but sad for me. I am not used to having to say good-bye to the babies because in Guatemala they weren’t leaving regularly. Needless to say, I am practically starting over in this third room, (1) because there is a new dynamic, (2) because the average age is now younger, and (3) because there are five toddlers who have never been exposed to books, reading, or the concepts that I am introducing. The fact that there are some experienced children is helping; they are really setting the right example, and carrying on like nothing has changed, but after a comfortable month, I forgot about the challenges of the beginning weeks.

Lastly, I just wanted to ask that everyone keeps Guatemala in their thoughts and prayers. I have heard from Casa Bernabe, and they are all safe and well. A testament to that is sending e-mails! But the country, devastated to begin, is in complete ruin. I think about how all those tin shacks, perched on the steep mountain slopes, must be washing away. People with nothing, do not have anything now. That is going to mean a lot for Casa Bernabe, other orphanages and thousands of children as the devastation continues to take its toll. So please, keep them in your thoughts and send them all your positive energy.

Nazret

2010-06-02T05:48:00.000-07:00

Monday May 31, 2010

Here’s a riddle:

How many Ethiopians does it take to complete a credit card transaction?
The answer: It takes three to watch the foreigner do it herself, after the others had all made their attempts.

To add to the craziness that was last week was a whirlwind of a weekend. I went down to Nazret a smaller city about an hour south of Addis. It actually reminded me of a mini Addis, the same old world meets new, without the big city hustle. All of Ethiopia is really a clash of the past and future, of culture and international; and no more so than in Nazareth where you can literally watch a horse and buggy alongside a Mercedes, waiting for the light to turn green.

While most of the weekend was devoted to a little R&R at the hot springs and swimming pool, there was a little work involved too, although I was mostly an observer to that as well. Ten boys from the Kolffe orphanage took their “aging out” money and started a farm. With the support of Gladney, they now fatten oxen to sell, in addition to growing and bringing to market a variety of vegetables and herbs. An irrigation system was developed and implemented as well. It is an impressive operation. Especially if you consider the boys (who are really men) bunk together in a large brink barn-like structure, sharing space with the seed and grains, and fend for themselves in all other ways. They even make their own injera.

Today I visited the three government orphanages in Addis. It’s hard to express how such a sad place can really be filled with so much happiness. The orphanages are bare to the bone, and even with an incredible amount of assistance, still survive only on meager means. The need in this country is so widespread and vast, there will never be enough. Yet, children will always be children. They will be mischievous, joyful, playful, imaginative and all other wonderful things. In fact, that is what always strikes me most about children, especially those in hard and desperate situations; they still have a sense of pure wonder. Wonder. That is what is lost as we grow-up and who knows when, but somewhere along the way we start seeing dirt, rust, an old tire and a hundred ways to get hurt and stop asking to be pushed higher on some semblance of a swing.

Anticlimactic Blog- Sorry

2010-06-02T05:47:00.000-07:00

Friday May 28, 2010

This week went by in a blur. I don’t know if anything else could have been packed in. I feel uninspired because so much has happened but it doesn’t feel like anything extraordinary has occurred. I guess that means that I am comfortably settling into life here.

The kids are doing wonderfully every day. There are successes and developments that wouldn’t appear much to an onlooker, but that make each day amazing for me. They are minute changes that only I would notice, and it goes up and down daily, but it is still all progress. The oldest kids are starting to anticipate the pages as they are being turned. Especially when it comes to animal noises and the alphabet. I’m almost positive they have memorized “Chicka, Chicka Boom, Boom.” They asked me to teach them songs, which just might be my specialty (see Guatemala), so starting Monday we are going to have some fun with those too.

This inspired me to teach the caregivers of the babies/toddlers interactive songs, like “The Grand Old Duke of York” where you balance a baby on your knees and “march them up to the top of the hill and march them down again.” It would be a simple way to get the caregiver more involved in what I am doing and I know they are always searching for new games and activities, especially in the wake of their recent training sessions.

This past Tuesday it was back to the Merkato! Amidst an (almost) parking disaster and a near run in with a bull, I managed to find some supplies for the next project with the Kechene women. Stay tuned! Hopefully we will jump start next week. It all just seems so anticlimactic. Trust me though, it’s not. Gosh! I must be tired if I can’t even muster up some ridiculous thing that happened, because they happen every day. Maybe Ethiopia has worn me down to the point of being blind sighted by its absurdities? No wait, not possible.

Taxis Round II

2010-05-26T05:03:00.000-07:00

Monday May 24, 2010

Ethiopians have a flare for faux fur. This did not go unnoticed by me for more than 20 seconds because I am hyper attuned to the hilariously tacky. They like to coat everything short of their person with said fur, and seem to favor car interiors. Dashboards, back window “displays,” steering wheels, seats, gear stick, no surface is immune. The more eccentric driver uses the fur to prop up miscellaneous items such as dolls, stuffed animals (aka more fur), and souvenirs in general.

But now I must back-track and apologize for any sarcastic, condescending or otherwise insensitive comment I made about the fur. For today, I appreciate the fur, I thank the fur, I owe it my intact skull.

On my way home from foster care today I was in my very first automobile collision. It is kind of surprising that it was my first considering the condition of the road. Picture your average 4 lane highway, three rows of broken white lines dividing the lanes, nothing too unusual. Now picture both flows of traffic driving head on amongst these four lanes. Not rationally dividing them two and two either, oh no. All four lanes are free for all. Drivers just weave in and out of each other’s way and 99% of the time avoid head on, side on or rear end collisions. Today, my taxi was the exception to the rule. To narrowly avoid a head on crash, the taxi veerd right, and slammed sideways into a big jeepy car. Thankfully no one was moving fast by any means and aside from some sever denting and a bum headlight there was no damage done…people included.

But why the peace with fur? Well my taxi was exceptional in more ways than just crashing. When I climbed in I nearly had to shove my fist in my mouth to avoid laughing. It was decked out in faux fur. The ceiling had a fur rug affixed to it and held in place with a clear plastic covering. Dangling from the plastic were 8 rows of tassels run horizontally across the van. The seats, the dash, the gear shift, all the usual suspects covered in fur. There was even fur trimming the windows. And this is where my qualms end. Instead of bashing my head into the window frame during impact, I nestled nicely into some fur. I have a major goose-egg bearing resemblance to a plum in both size and color, but that is largely better than any other alternative I can consider. Of course I was the only one to demand a refund of my 4 birr (roughly 30 cents) but it’s the principle that counts, and at heart I will always be a New Yorker.

Ethiopia is really growing me. Nothing is short of an experience and an adventure.

But I can’t let all this excitement distract me from the best part of my day. After I finish reading I pass out the books for “alone time,” were the children usually spread out, some even go to their own corner, and flip though the pages. Some talk to themselves, others are deep in concentration, and still others give it a quick once over and move on. Just like adults hold varying levels of interest for books, it is fascinating to see these different levels of excitement play out in children. “Alone time” is my favorite time to just watch them, although I usually end up re-reading most of what I just read. Today, however, in one of the rooms the toddlers stayed clustered relatively close together. Then they chorused the ABC’s and “Are You Sleeping, Brother John?” I was beside myself it was so adorable.

Another new development, for the older ones at least, has been “trading.” They are cautious, but if they can be sure the other is going to release the book and not run away with two, they will make trades repeatedly.

Today is the first day of fasting for the Orthodox Church, which means that about half of Addis goes vegan for the next month. I fully believe the food is about to get better, especially since today for lunch we had this amazing chickpea puree with spicy spices in it and then big chucks of chickpea that resembled falafel. The smell was so strong and fresh it made my eyes water and in my opinion there are not enough bright orange foods. Even the ingera has significantly grown on me, dare I say I almost like it. I am beginning to feel like Sam-I-Am, the central character in “Green Eggs and Ham.” (These are my literary references of late, it’s that or Twilight)

The point I am trying to make has nothing to do with food however. It is the first day of fasting which means that it was a school holiday. In addition to having the 4-6 year olds, I also had the 7 and ups, which changed the whole dynamic of the room in a more positive way than I could have anticipated. At first I was wary, thinking they would be board because the books are “baby.” But they were so enthusiastic, and the younger kids, who clearly look up to them, followed the lead. They had them making more animal noises than I could, naming all the animals or colors on the pages and actually asking questions about stuff they didn’t recognize. I was so pleasantly shocked.

Like I said, nothing in Ethiopia is short of an experience, an adventure and, I will add, a surprise.

Two Crazy Days

2010-05-22T05:03:00.000-07:00

Saturday May 22, 2010

The past two days have been both wildly successful and more of an experience than I can accurately describe. So please excuse my attempt at explanation.

Due to election rallies and a heard of unruly bulls blocking the highway, I got to Foster seriously late. Once the bulls got the goats involved and the goats rallied the donkeys it totally redefined grid-lock. In the end, I made it and read through an abridged version of my book pile in two of the rooms. When I went to the third, however, they were playing with play-dough! But it was so much more than just play. Three of the girls had made an entire coffee ceremony set out of the play-dough and were performing the ceremony with the help of one of the caregivers. This is comparable to having a tea party, but the coffee ceremony is not simple by any means. The others were making animals or cars and just generally using their imagination. Two of the boys had made a tiny ball and were kicking it around.

I didn’t have the heart to interrupt this productive play, and I especially wanted to encourage the caregivers to initiate these types of activities more often, so I skipped reading and instead played! It was so adorable, the kids were beside themselves. They were showing me their play-dough like it was Christmas morning.

Finally, making it back to the office, I met Yemamu and we went to Merkato to scout supplies for the next “On Their Own” project. Merkato is huge and such a maze of loud streets and foreboding alleyways that people rarely come out where they entered. Massive and incoherent might be the best way to describe it. Even the most seasoned Ethiopian can get completely turned around. And this is not one of those picturesque markets either, with neatly lined stalls displaying wares. Depending on your perspective it can be anything from exotic to downright slummy. You can literally purchase anything from spices to your very own camel, which is precisely how it smells; a combination of spice, baking bread, incense, animal and their accompanying by-products.

I did however get a good idea of what I could find, and the next project is in the brain-storming phase.

Yesterday I FOUND THE BOOKS! When I walked into the Foster home for the oldest kids, they had a cabinet in the kitchen full of books, good ones too. Eric Carle, Sandra Boynton, Dr. Seuss, all the children’s classics. Then the caregivers were taking them all out to show me what I should read. Why they don’t have them available to the kids is one of those cultural things. They are concerned that they will get destroyed (which is probably true) so they keep them “put away” to monitor use. This was the same situation I came across in Guatemala. Needless to say, there are a lot more options now, and after the kids get familiar with the pile I brought I will be able to integrate more into the pattern. I found “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” and decided to try that one out on the older kids. (It contains one of my favorite quotes too: “These things are fun, and fun is good.”) There was a group of 5 boys at my feet gasping and giggling every time I turned the page, then pointing and discussing what they saw. They LOVE Dr. Seuss illustrations and I love seeing them be so imaginative.

What I am thrilled about, however, is the fact that the caregivers shared this with me, means that they are beginning to trust and open up with me. In the beginning they were rightfully wary of my presence, because they think of the children as their own. Like any parent, they are protective until you prove that you are equally loving of their child. They also invited me to their coffee ceremony yesterday an invitation to a coffee ceremony is a showing of respect, thanks and friendship. Besides the kids love it because they get popcorn as their snack, a fact that I can appreciate.

I read this quote the other day, “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” I believe this is so true everywhere, but so much more so in Ethiopia. Compared to what I am used to there is just so little here. There is more poverty, more struggle than I have experienced anywhere else. Yet, everywhere you look there is a little celebration a moment of joy, which conveys hope across the faces of its people. The pinnacle of this celebration being the coffee ceremony, which is why I think it was so endearing that the girls were learning this testament to their culture in play. The third cup of coffee is called “berekha” (the blessing). It just goes to show how even with nothing, Ethiopians are aware that there are blessings all around, there is celebration in life, and that is enough to be grateful for.

Barbie and Foosball

2010-05-21T03:38:00.000-07:00

Wednesday May 19, 2010

My head is searing with pain. It is burning! I got “Barbied.”

Some of the Kechene women maintain a hair salon, a second endeavor to the shop. While working at the office, I got recruited to the salon, plopped in a chair and styled. They braided the sides of my head and gave me a poof on top and HOLY MOLY are these braids tight! If I move my face I feel it in my scalp. It looks like I had some nipping and tucking done, my cheekbones are like an inch higher!
I really do like the hair, the design is beautiful and if I de-poof the top my hair falls over the braided sides with is the kind of subtly I appreciate. I have a completely new admiration for women who have their whole head braded…man oh man, are they tough!

One of the girls has taken a particular liking to me, and I to her. So afterwards, I wore my sunglasses and we paraded around trying to convince people I was a Hollywood celebrity. We had the shoeshine boys believing I was Spiderman’s girlfriend. Didn’t see myself passing for that one…but hey I’m flattered. And since I am never going to blend in, I might as well totally rock it!

But the real success of the day, however, was winning over my neighborhood bullies. There is a group of pre-pubescent and teenage boys who harmlessly taunt me on my walk home every evening. I am pretty sure I am their nightly entertainment. They usually follow me a little ways, call me “milk” and tell me they love me. They also “own” the foosball table that lives on the street corner. That is always where they are, and how they seem me when I walk by. These neighborhood foosball tables are relatively common and I see them all over Addis, but I am unsure of the exact edict. I think some are “public” and others belong to the toughest group of boys.

Well maybe I was emboldened by my hair, or the fact that I am now a celebrity, but today I turned to them and said, “You know what, lets go!”

I won only once (and there was a questionable goal involved there) and got my bum handed to me about 12,000 other times, but I put a Birr (about 7 cents) down on myself every time, and bought them all Cokes. I guess that’s the going rate for protection these days. I am not about to argue with having the neighborhood “gang” on my side, even if it was a buy-off. They really do love me now. Cliche time- If you can’t be ‘em, join ‘em!

I swear I do real work too! I have been going out to foster care daily and reading in the toddler rooms and the children ages 4-6, who now call me “Chicka Chicka.” They are really responding well, repeating animal sounds after me, as well as colors, numbers and the alphabet. But more than anything they love their time with the books. The older ones are even beginning to “trade” nicely, which I see as a big step. From experience when a child gets their hands on a toy, they usually like to own that toy until playtime is over or they can be won over with something more interesting. The fact that they will exchange books is really wonderful to see.

My Dove chocolate (yes, I brought 2 packages) just told me to “make a date with my favorite book tonight.” And since I am currently horrifically enthralled in the Twilight series and since I do everything Dove tells me, I am going to take that advice.

Works

2010-05-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

Saturday May 15, 2010

I am still reeling in the success of this week!

I stared on Wednesday reading at Gladney’s Foster Care centers in the 2 toddler rooms and to the children ages 4-6. Riveted doesn’t even begin to describe it. I have never seen kids so fascinated by books and pictures. The toddlers love making the animal sounds and the older children love to do the “Barnyard Dance” (a book by Sandra Boynton). By far the favorite is playing the drums in “Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb” by Al Perkins and of course screaming “Chicka, Chicka, Boom, Boom!”

It is pretty much mayhem when I walk into the room carrying a pile of books. All the babies go crazy trying to grab them. Eventually the caregivers assist me in getting them to sit and we read through the pile. I usually have about 15 minutes of attention with the toddlers, which is more than I initially expected. When focus begins to fade, I pass out the books and they will literally spread out on the floor, flipping through them over and over. They all get really serious in concentration. I mean this is real work!

The older children are just as adorable. They love interacting with my reading, but attention usually beings to drift, because there are other toys around for them to play with. They stay nearby to listen but I notice their focus becomes divided with other toy distractions. They too loved reading on their own, although some are more interested than others, naturally. When I am done, they like to bring books up to me and ask for individual time…this usually starts fights. Yesterday’s conflict resulted in me getting attacked by a magic marker!

The “On Their Own” necklaces are already finished. It took two days and could have taken one, but I deliberately tried to extend the project. The women were so enthused and were such a joy to work with. They are obviously skilled in crafting and literally flew through the project with very little assistance from me. The necklaces are well done, and the women were so grateful for work, they kept asking if they could make more, or if this could be a continuous thing. “I really hope it will be,” is all I kept responding.

Yesterday they performed a coffee ceremony in the shop in my honor. This is a 2+ hour process. That involves roasting the beans, grinding them by hand, and brewing the coffee over coals. Three pots are brewed in succession called, adobe (the first), tona (the second) and I forget the Amharic name but the third is called “the blessing.” They also serve popcorn with the coffee ceremony, but no one knows the significance of this. It was all so sweet and fun!

I should probably explain that I titled this entry “Works” in honor of my BFF Yemamu. He tells me every day “I have so much works,” or “I got so much works done today.” He means “things to do/things done” but I like the use of works. I think it describes much better than “things.” So that’s what I’ve been up to… works!

Ethiopians

2010-05-14T03:20:00.000-07:00

Wednesday May 12, 2010

Everything about this country is hard. The expression on people’s faces, the roads, the houses, just the general way of life. Yet, everyone finds a way to remain joyful, in good humor, they survive because of their relationships. Relationships with literally everyone around them, it is not unusual to be approached at random and walk away with a new friend. People don’t passively pass one another as we are used to. They don’t live in indifference to others. It is common to share tables at coffee houses and restaurants with strangers and people do not put up the protective barriers that we do, they don’t sit with books, newspapers or computers. Ethiopians always leave themselves open to conversation, to each other. I believe this is more than cultural…its survival.

They also hold a deep relationship with their faith. I wake every morning to the Orthodox Church’s call to prayer. I shuffle around people in the streets praying towards Mecca. I think everything about this is beautiful. It makes me jealous. If people with nothing, can have faith, can find someone else to pray for, something to be thankful for, why is it so difficult for us, in a country of over-indulgence, to be grateful?

Most importantly, Ethiopians have such a connected relationship with their surrounding, their land. They can literally make anything out of nothing, I’ve never seen so little waste. I’ve never seen more garbage either, but those are just my eyes. People throw what they do not need into the streets, literally everything, but this is not littering, it’s recycling. Someone else will find a purpose.

Ethiopians are nothing if not proud- and they should be too. Their nation stands out in Africa, never colonized, retaining its own culture, language, script, clock (7am and 7pm are 1am and 1pm respectively, it kind of makes sense, you start your day at 1)and calendar (there are 13 months).

Some days are hard. Sometimes I forget these relationships. I get annoyed at the stranger at my table, interrupting my book, I don’t want to talk on the taxi, I get tired of being asked my religion and I turn up my nose at all the trash, disgusted tip-toeing through the sewer of a street in the rain. But here is a life-style that I have only just begun to comprehend. And it is unique and wonderful in so many ways. It is so freeing to be so open and unabashed, it is so Ethiopian!

I read this quote by historian of the Roman Empire, Edward Gibbon, and it is really the only way to describe the uniqueness of Ethiopians- “ Encompassed on all sides by the enemies of their religion, the Aethiopians slept nearly a thousand years , forgetful of the world, by whom they were forgotten.”

Getting Started

2010-05-14T03:18:00.000-07:00

Tuesday May 11, 2010

Tomorrow is the big day. I am starting not just one, but both of my projects. It is going to be my first day reading at foster care, and also the Kechene girls are really anxious to start the necklaces.

I feel ready to get going. I had successful meetings in both places over the past few days and have been receiving good feedback. On Saturday I made the long journey out to Foster (soon to be my daily commute- involving 3 taxis and a tuck-tuck, yes the same as in Guatemala only blue!) I got the tour of the 4 foster homes, 3 of which I will be working in. Because there are just so many kids, and I only have 2 hours there, I’ve narrowed my time down to the 2 toddler rooms and the house with children ages 4-6. There I will be able to see progress, since they are already speaking, and besides they are so adorable!

Yesterday (Monday), I meet with the Kechene girls in the shop to discuss the “On Their Own” necklaces. They are really enthusiastic about the project (I think because of a bit of steady income) and were actually dismayed that we were only making 70. I told them (through my translator) that after this project, we would look for local supplies that they could craft, and I would bring back to sell in the US, in the same fashion as the necklaces. Originally I had planned to start next week, but they are really into the project, so I figured why not begin when the energy is up and they were so gracious and grateful that I didn’t want to let them down

So all that being said, I am finally going to have a full day, and not just full by moseying around drinking macchiato, but actually an accomplished day. This is WILD by Ethiopian standards, attempting to do two things in one day is an absurdity. I mean really something to do in the morning AND afternoon….crazy!

Taxis

2010-05-10T02:36:00.000-07:00

This morning I shared a taxi with a goat. We bonded over vegetarianism.

Welcome to Ethiopia - May 5th

2010-05-08T03:28:00.000-07:00

So much has happened in the past few days, although I haven’t actually done anything. Today is Wednesday May 5, 2010. Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Yesterday I made it to the Gladney office and got a taste of Ethiopian reality. I spent the morning with my new best friend/taxi guide/translator/life-line, Yemamu. He has an incredible story! I am going to ask him if it’s okay to share it here. Anyway, after getting to know one another, we go to the tourist shop where I get incredible feedback regarding the necklaces. Although I was scarce on details, the woman running the shop was really excited. The other girls? They were missing because today was the opening of a Bazaar on the other side of Addis, and they were preparing things to sell at the fair.

So in typical Ethiopian fashion, Yemamu needs to get something from his home, on the walk there, literally the length of 3 NYC short blocks, we stop in 2 hair salons and an office looking place, just to sit and chat. Then we get to the home, the gate is locked and Yemamu left the key at Gladney. Ok so we start to walk back, but no, let’s just stop in here for a Macchiato (the coffee beverage of choice). Needless to say, we never go the key, never got the something, but we did accomplish a lovely leisurely stroll and an espresso boost.

Afterward I went over to the foster care home for babies and toddlers and where I will be reading shortly. I arrived after lunch, at what I assumed was nap time. I am very excited to get the kids out and reading.

Today, I started learning the taxi system. Should be easy, considering there is a person calling out all the stops, however they say this so fast and combine all the words that it sounds to me like a bunch of jibber-jabber. The only place I can accurately identify is Mexico. Yes, there is a sub-city in Addis named Mexico. We practiced the taxis by taking them to the Bazaar, which was only being set up when we got there. But I learned that the government gifts the booths to micro-enterprises as an incentive to keep them motivated, it seems like a good plan, except that they close the actually business in favor of a booth for 5 days.

After which I had my first traditional Ethiopian lunch. For the first time can’t say I love the food. Personally I thought the injera tasted and looked like a moldy sponge. I suppose I should get used to it, it is served with everything! The meat was okay, however I was distracted by the tables around us eating it totally, utterly and completely raw. I don’t think it’s called carpaccio either when you are cutting off hunks of fat and it’s definitely not cured, this is going to be a new one for me stomach (pun intended). Love the wine though. It’s called tudge and it a little bubbly, made with honey and has this fermented sweetness to it. It is the color of orange juice and served in a science beaker, so delicious.

Later, we drove over to one of the Government orphanages to drop off a care package from an eager family. Never have I seen a little girl so excited by bubbles and bouncy balls and Reece’s peanut-butter eggs. Then she so generously shared her M&M’s with the other children flocking the door even though “they were mean to her sometimes.” She put on the flip-flops from the package, and immediately thought to give her sneakers to one of her friends because she no longer needed them. In the package was a letter with a picture of all her new siblings, and she repeatedly kissed each one of them in the picture with such enthusiasm I thought she might rip the paper. And while I have a mouthful to say about the orphanage, for the moment, I want to enjoy that moment and the tremendous smile on this little girls face and in her eyes.

So that’s life on this side of the Atlantic (and almost to the Indian).

Arrival!- May 3rd

2010-05-08T03:26:00.000-07:00

I am writing this entry on Monday May 3rd, which I decided is important to include because I have no idea when I will get the internet access to post it. Ethiopia lesson number 1: don’t ever expect power. I have been here now 2 days and have spent more time without use of electricity, than with its lovely convinces. Tonight my guest house got the generator up and running so I can at least type this from the electrical current generated by the wall with a light on above my head…so appreciative. The internet however, is 1) down and 2) dial up, so I’m thinking my blogs will be posted in groupings when I have the chance to finagle some wireless over at one of the hotels.

The flight…long. And the layover in Germany, most unusual. I got there so early that my flight wasn’t even up on the board yet, so not knowing which terminal to go to I chose one at random and lay down for a nap. Then someone tells me that this terminal has been “evacuated” and I need to go to my terminal. “But I don’t know where that is yet,” I reply? “Well, you can’t stay here, were evacuated.”

POWERS BACK FOR REAL! NO MORE GENERATOR!

Needless to say I spent 5 hours hopping terminals that were “open” and then once the flight boarded I was evacuated. And who uses the term “evacuated” in an airport anyway. Isn’t that one of those “no-no” words like “BOMB!” Please choose a less panic inducing word!

Then when I got to Ethiopia I was almost turned away because apparently it is extremely important that immigration has the exact address of where you will be staying before they can allow you into their country. They granted me a visa just fine, but when I went to get stamped through, the nice man asks if I know my address here, I do not. I have put such blind faith in those coming to rescue me from airport hell that I have absolutely no contact information except an e-mail address. He calls another man over and I feel like I am going to faint, but instead I do what my mom taught me. I smile and sigh, “but I’m volunteering for orphans.” BAM, I’m stamped through!

So I made it, I am staying in a lovely guest home, which is exactly what it sound like. It is a home, much like my own, with a living room, kitchen, dining area and comfy front porch. I have a room and share a bathroom with one other girl, we have use of the kitchen and a pot of coffee is waiting at ALL times!

Yesterday was relaxing, I recovered from jet lag and had dinner with my host family, not much gets done here on Sunday’s.

Today, I had the privilege of sharing lunch with 3 families here to bring home babies! Hearing them talk was so exciting to me. It was definitely the catharsis I missed in Guatemala.

Later I backpacked it to the grocery store and got some basics. Then I bleached my fruit. Yes, that is right I prefer to consume bleach to whatever else might be living on my grapes. And they have mango verde in Ethiopia! A personal favorite from Guatemala.

By the time this is posted it will be so dated, but that’s okay and there will be way more interesting things to share. Tomorrow I am going to the office and am going to learn how to use the “taxi” system, aka a blue and white 15 passenger van, vaguely reminiscent of a chicken bus.

Home Sweet Home

2010-04-29T08:55:00.000-07:00

The mosquito bites have finally faded, I guess that means an entry is way overdue. That and the fact that I am leaving tomorrow for Ethiopia! I have been home now for three weeks and have enjoyed every hot shower, walk with Brie and movie curled up on my uber comfy couch.

Being home got me thinking about my dual lifestyle. I can literally get by with nothing when traveling, but once I get home I slip into a completely different routine. I mean, I lived for three months with a 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body soap, but less than 24 hours after landing, I was in the chair for a manicure/pedicure. I know there is nothing wrong with either, but it makes me question what I really want when I live this transitional lifestyle and am happy on either extreme.

Regardless, I do appreciate a fancy cocktail and a couple home-cooked meals. And now that I have filled up I am so ready and excited to move on again. I expect my latest endeavor to have very few similarities to my Guatemalan life, however I imagine one to build nicely off the other. There is no measurement to this invaluable experience.

I am often asked “why?” Why do I want to go to obscure places and work with people I don’t know?

Well sometimes I question this myself. It is so emotionally taxing. Inevitability I fall in love and have to leave but at the same time I would never want it any other way. Doing this make sense to me. Even though the social problems of the world are so vast in insurmountable in their entirety, I never let that deter me from doing what I can. Working with people is difficult, unpredictable, intimidating and often frustrating and it is impossible to measure the ways you touch another person’s life, but I have to believe in the little successes. Everything is complicated and uncertain but there are always tiny moments where change is apparent.

I recently read a Hawaiian parable in Half the Sky by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn. It’s an incredibly powerful book about this century’s most widespread human rights violations throughout Africa (including Ethiopia) and Asia. I highly recommend! Anyway the parable goes:

A man goes out on the beach and sees that it is covered with starfish that have washed up in the tide. A little boy is walking along, picking them up and throwing them back into the water.
“What are you doing, son?” the man asks. “You see how many starfish there are? You’ll never make a difference.”
The boy paused thoughtfully, and picked up another starfish and threw it into the ocean.
“It sure made a difference to that one,” he said.

El Futuro

2010-04-04T15:36:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer! I wrote this on Thursday, before I actually left…

The realization of leaving has finally set in and it’s making me feel rather uninspired blog-wise. I am finding it so much harder than I ever anticipated and I have so much swirling around in my head that facing a blank page is actually intimidating.

Everyday more kids come up to me and give me notes telling me they love me, they will miss me and that I have inspired them in some way. This alone is hard for me to deal with because I am rather uncomfortable with good-byes as it is, but the hardest part is that I am pretty confident I will not be remembered for very long anyway. I don’t mean that in a bad way, and I know you can never measure how you touch another person’s life, but let all be the realist that I am for a moment. The babies can’t remember yesterday and the older ones see so many faces, have so many volunteers in their lives that who am I really? It’s like that moment when you come back from a trip and you are still high off of it. You are in love with everything about the place you were and it’s hard to imagine any details escaping your memory. Then the days, weeks, months and years of normal life pass and suddenly one day, you can only remember that you once went. Regardless, it’s difficult to face that you will be forgotten, blurred in the mind of the children with countless others.

I keep thinking of the Crosby, Stills, and Nash lyrics: “So just look at them and sigh, and know they love you.”

Mostly, it’s becoming more difficult for me to comprehend leaving because no other place has taught me more about myself. That probably sounds a little selfish, but really working here has been a selfish experience in disguise. The kids never needed me as much as I needed them. Yes, I may have brought them some excitement or taught them something new, but again I know that they would have survived without me. With or without my existence, their lives would remain relatively stable. It’s me who has been turned upside down. Being here has been a blessing for which I am forever grateful. I am humbled.

So now I continue, sitting in Antigua.

Actually walking out the door literally took every bit of strength I had. When I arrived 11 weeks ago I never imagined that it would be so difficult to say good-bye. That I would fall in love this much. This all adding to the fact that good-byes make me feel uncomfortable and I get really awkward and I never know what to say, or how to express how truly grateful I am.

My last night I attempted to put Ludwin to bed, but I found that I couldn’t put him down. I just wanted to stand there forever, rocking him and telling him that no matter what he would always have a family. Even if it is impossible, there is someone that wants only him. I felt like I was leaving my child.

But at Casa Bernabe there is only the future, that’s all they have worth looking towards. And that is exactly what I am going to do. I will miss them forever. I will miss the expression and excitement when my kids connect two things in class. I will miss walking into the baby house every afternoon and hearing 10 voices shouting, “Ana, hola! Hola Ana!” Twisting their hands back and forth in the air. I will smile in remembrance at all the kids alerting their teacher “Miss! Ingles!” But mostly I will miss the constant noise of children playing. The constant reminder of their resiliency. The reminder that even after all they have been through, they can still play, they can still be children and that I have had a part in affording them that right. That despite all, from now on, they will be fine. The orphanage is not perfect, but as long as the children can be children, they are succeeding.

So the future awaits, and while I am certain I will return, right now I have a new change on the horizon. Of course I am taking a couple of days to see Guatemala, before I fly out on Friday (mark calendars please), but shortly I will be off to Ethopia to fall in love all over again. I still need to work out the details (oh yeah and the flight), but I know that another great experience is about to unfold, and I couldn’t be more excited.

Winding Down

2010-03-26T13:42:00.000-07:00

English concert/exam was yesterday and it went so well! The kids were naturally adorable, and were very proud and excited. They keep telling me that they got 100 points! Which they did if they participated, and everyone did. I don’t know how pleased the director was that I ONLY did a concert, because it is a little unorthodox and definitely not an assessment of their individual skills. But they had serious tests all week, even in kindergarten they do “written” tests, and I didn’t want to contribute to the stress. I think it was also a good example that everything doesn’t have to be a traditional exam. There are other ways to evaluate learning, and it can be fun. It fit in with the nature of my class, where we did activities rather than take notes and they had to find me to talk once during the week rather than do homework. Anyway, after living in a country where I didn’t speak the language, I realized how much the Spanish class written activities were rendered useless, what really matters is conversational skills.

Yesterday was also “Splash Day” for the younger kids. We set up so blow up pools and sprinklers, had water balloon games and hula dancing and held just a generally relaxing and playful day. Today were doing the same for the older ones who are now done with exams.

On Tuesday I “babysat” for Casa Estar, a house of girls from ages 7-16ish. Both of the parents had to be out at the same time so I hung out with the girls for a couple of hours and it was so fun. I was helping them study but we were also playing around and gossiping. It made me a little sad that I didn’t have the opportunity to interact with the older ones more. I, of course, love the babies, but working there every afternoon really limited my interaction with most of the orphanage. They are a really great group of girls and I have been trying to spend as much time as possible with them in my last few days here.

My girl Claudia, who is nearly 4 finally moved up to the toddler house! I had originally made the suggestion that she play there a couple mornings a week to start to get used to it and also be a little more stimulated by older company. On Wednesday she was playing with them in the morning and I was told she would do this for a week or two and then make the move. Suddenly yesterday she just wasn’t coming back. I think the sudden transition will be really rough and shocking to her. She seemed a little dazed at Splash Day yesterday. But she really did need to move up. I just wish they stuck to the original slow transition plan.

The baby house threw me my Despidida on Thursday (aka a little thank you party). It was so sweet. They cooked steaks and refried beans (my new favorite) and this amazing chopped veggie pico and set the table all pretty with candles and we sat down to a really nice dinner and later watched a movie. They also gave me a beautiful framed photo of all the babies. I don’t want to go!

So if you are keeping track of my little math equation last time we were at 16 with a beautiful infant. Now subtract 2 more, 1 for Claudia at the toddler house and 1 because we sent David home , puts us at all time low of 14. It feels so empty in the baby house!

El Salvador for the weekend- Catch you on the flip side!

In a List

2010-03-22T19:34:00.000-07:00

1)I made Luis take his first totally independent steps today! Nothing here has been more rewarding than watching him legs wide arms out, balance and step. He sticks out his tongue and when he reaches his “destination” lets out the best squeal I have ever heard!

2)I found out that the “science” text book we are using for my class teaches Creationism. Chapters are titled “The First Day,” “The Second Day,” etc. And history class = Bible study. Not really sure how to deal with this information.

3)If you have never experienced the total freedom of blasting music and dancing with just a 3 year old you absolutely must.

4)I have about 6 names here at Casa B. English class- Miss. Ingles. Special Ed- Miss Diana, just Miss or Miss. Asi (“This Way?” as in is this right?). Casa de Bebes- Ana! Ana! And of course there are those who actually try to say my real name. It's okay, I love it.

5)The carnival place was an awesome day. We took the babies home at 2 because it was definitely time. But they loved those bouncy things, driving in the go-carts and this mini bumper boat game. Actually they were just fascinated walking around.

6)Ludwin was sitting next to me on the couch today and was passing toys from his lap to mine. I wasn’t paying complete attention, but suddenly I realized he was saying, “siete, ocho, nueve…” HE WAS COUNTING!!! Don’t know where he picked that up, but it’s amazing. Even though there were only 4 toys, it’s a start.

7)Actually, I am so amazed every day at the language the babies are picking up. When I arrived 3 short months ago the house felt like a baby house. It was quiet, except for the crying and screaming. Now it is occupied by people they talk constantly, communicate feelings, ask questions, help out, and play with one another. The boys will literally talk for an hour at night and an hour in the morning before asking to get up. It picked up so fast and every day I am impressed.

8)I switched Prepa’s song from “Happy and You Know It” to the ABC’s, for some reason it’s still impossibly hard for them, but Pre-Kinder and Kinder are nailing “Head, Shoulders…”

9)On the other hand, 2nd is rocking “No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed.” The only problem is “jumping” is really difficult for the kids to say. Moreover the Spanish J sound is the English H sound. Basically, the monkeys are humping on the bed…. I’m working on it…

A Little Moment to Share

2010-03-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

I am struggling to capture how meaningful this moment was in words but I will try.

I took Ludwin for a sunny Saturday walk around the campus and was questioning how I am going to leave him. Everything he does makes me melt. I want to cry and laugh at the same time. We took a seat at the basketball court to watch the older kids play awhile. One of my more emotionally challenged special education students comes over, and tries to give me a hug (you may remember Enrique- with 2 “E’s”). Ludwin pushes him away. Then he tries to give Ludwin a hug and he is having none of that. For a cuddly one, he can be picky. Enrique sits down at first angry, then after contemplating it a while he puts one arm around my back and the other around Ludwin’s, and rests his head on my shoulder. With Ludwin facing us, he begins rubbing his back and singing a lullaby. With the sun in my face I just closed my eyes and started to silently cry, but in a really good way. He sang two more songs like the first, then gave us a hug, got up and ran to his house for snack just like an 8 year old would do.

And that was it. Probably the single best moment I’ve had here. And it had absolutely nothing to do with me. I was just lucky enough to be a witness.

I am not too far behind...

2010-03-16T21:11:00.000-07:00

...But I am a little. I’ve been working on the posters with the song lyric-pictures for the English concert and they are taking a little longer than I anticipated. Plus, I found out my “exam” time slot (aka the concert) is NEXT THRUSDAY from 10-11 am (not Friday, like originally planned). Plus, we are losing tomorrow because we are taking all the kids to a carnival-like thing. From what I understand there will be go-carts, games, slides, etc. Even the babies who can walk are going! Very very happy to get them out. So what explains why I am writing this right now and not working on the posters? 1) no school = time to procrastinate 2) I need to wake up and 5am and need to go to bed soon and 3) this sort of activity is both productive, quick and relaxing, unlike my posters.

Needless to say, I started teaching the songs today for real. They have heard them all before in various lessons and it went really well in Pre-Kinder/Kinder. I think with 20 minutes every day they will really have it. Prepa, however, was a different story. Were doing “If Your Happy and You Know It,” which is definitely the right song for their level, but the class is a challenging combination. There are only 10 of them but they can make it feel like 30 and I can’t exactly place why they are not getting it. On Thursday I’m going to have them sing with the recorded version, it might be more effective than just me. Oh and there poster is now done.

Last week, because I was sick, English was a big review activity. I made a word search! They first have to translate a list of 25 words (plus a bonus) into English, than they have to find the English words in the scramble. All the words should have been written in their notebooks too. It is a little challenging, but Claudia was telling me that when she was young she would do them in English to force herself to see the words. I, of course, did not give it to kinder and prepa. Just 1st, 2nd and 3rd. And they had the whole week to work on it. I’ve seen some of them floating around completed and some of them were working together or found me to ask questions, all good things.

School store has evolved. In a way this is good. I am happy that the other teachers are offering changes and making it their own so they will continue it when I am gone. But here is the new plan and the reason why: We’re changing the money distribution process to be a little more fair. Basically, there will be 5 things during the day that can earn you money and a bonus for doing something especially helpful or working really hard. That brings the whole week to a possible Q30, so I need to first of all raise the prices of everything. We will still pull money out as a disciplinary action. What was happening is some of them would have nearly Q15 and others would only have Q2 at the end of a week. I personally say, “that’s life,” but I get it too, school is a sheltered version of life, at least it was for me. I like the 5 categories idea, but I don’t like how high that raises the prices because they will no longer be realistic or number the younger kids actually recognize. I will see how it goes on Friday and like I said, I am about to lose my say anyway, and if this is how it is kept going, so be it. After all that is way more important. I also got my first donation to the school store. Two ladies from Texas are here and they gave me bagfuls of old McDonalds toys that they brought down!

So here’s a peduncle. I found books! For the babies I mean. There are A LOT too, just locked in a closet. And so when a baby asked for a book, I gave it to him. And then passed out another and another. They love just looking at the pictures and talking to themselves. Really important stuff here! But then I got in trouble. I was told not to give the books to the babies because then they get ripped. Yeah they fight over them like they do all toys, but the LOVE them too and books are so important. And SO WHAT if they get ripped up, at least they were used. What’s the point of having books if you’re never going to read them? That to me, is like looking at water in the desert. I’m going to work on this point. Stay tuned.

And to continue my classic movie stint I’ve watched: Cabaret, The Way We Were, and Manhattan. I think I mentioned how I am catching up on my classics here. It’s fun to do while poster or word search- making.

Last a little math challenge. If we started with 16 babies. Got a new one. Lost the new one. Lost another one. (That’s minus 2) And picked up one more yesterday. Where do we stand? Answer: Back where we started, at 16 again. But this time with a 20 day old infant! She is beautiful!

A Great Weekend Is Worth the Exhaustion!

2010-03-15T13:49:00.000-07:00

Tired and have a lot to do.

Therefore, long story short, went to Lake Atitlan por el fin de semana. Stayed over in San Pedro, a cute little hippy town. Spent time lounging in a hammock and reading. Spent time lounging on the hotel roof and talking. Spent time dangling my feet in the water and writing. Had HUMMUS (again)!!! Went to a trance bar (accidentally, we were only looking for good dessert) and sat by a bon-fire. But the accident turned out to be key, because we learned from our waiter that we would probably die trying to bike to San Marcos the next day and instead found out about a sick hike to try. Sunday: Took a tuk-tuk to San Juan. Hiked “la nariz de indeo” (Indian nose). It was a lot harder and higher than anticipated and clouds blocked the view. Had an amazing time! Bought a dress for $4. Hopped a boat to San Marcos. Had lunch of red curry and a goat-cheese, avocado, and sweet chili sauce (yes the stuff I yearn for from my days in South Africa) sandwich. Missed the boat to Panajachel, so paid some guy Q200 (24ish dollars) to take us MUY RAPIDO, back so we would make out shuttle. Went back to Antigua. Caught the tail-end of the lent-processions (and subsequently all the food venders still in the square!). Bought cookies and banana bread. Took a taxi to a gas station in San Lucas. Waited for our ride to find us. Eventually made it back to Casa B.

Right now I must go write out the songs on poster board for my English classes. We are learning them this week. I have permission to visit each class for 10-15 minutes a day to do some practicing, and next Friday is concert time! This is the last day before Easter break and the end of the quarter. Which means it is also the culmination of exam week for the older classes.

I had a conversation with the teachers in Special Ed about transitioning out and we all decided that my last day will be before the break to establish an ending point for the ninos. They really worry about transitions here (especially for the kids my age) because they’ve had so many of them and so many bad ones. Of course they are resilient , but since a convenient time has presented itself for me to disperse, I am going to take that opportunity. It’s easier and feels less abandoning to explain that I was only the teacher for a special quarter, than if I left mid-week to go back to a place they have barley heard of and don’t understand.

More things to come. I know there are lots of gaps. And I have pictures!

Just Another Sick Day

2010-03-09T13:08:00.000-08:00

GAAAAAAAA I hate being sick and I’m so bored. It all started Sunday night around dinner when I got uncontrollably freezing. I basically was running fevers all night then felt awful yesterday. Today I am MUCH better. I went into school late, but I really wanted to stop in. But I am banished from the babies for another 24 hours because they are understandably paranoid about passing something around.

It’s really okay though because I have taken this opportunity to work on things I have been avoiding like drafting a letter to Dell about computer grants and registering to take my ATAS (Assessment of Teaching Skills) exam. It qualifies you to be an assistant teacher in the state of NY, which is becoming a definite possibility for me when I return. Especially because I need to get major experience if I want to go to school to become a special education teacher. Plus assistant teaching will give those one on one opportunities with the children who are struggling, which interests me much more that creating lesson plans and presenting information to a whole class. I would say nearly all of my Math education in elementary school is the direct result of working in a small group with one of the teaching assistants.

I can’t believe that my time here is winding down. From today I have exactly a month left in Guatemala, less at Casa B if you consider that I have Easter week off, and then will be departing after that. I feel like I am just getting used to it, just getting the process down to the point where I can get things accomplished. I feel like I finally have the trust and support I need from the other staff members to make my ideas happen. Last week, Sandra, the mother of the baby house actually asked me what I thought needed improvement. I told her some things couldn’t be helped really, like truly individualized attention for each baby. Nearly impossible for the situation. But also suggested (again) that we settle for a middle ground and re-instate the night-time routine. Which we did on Saturday AND Sunday! I don’t know what happened last night…I was quarantined.

But the point is that we are finally reaching an understanding that there are different things I can offer. I’ve noticed that many of the people here hold a slight distrust until they see how the kids are responding to you. A turning point in my relationship with the parents is when the kids would run up and hug me or talk about what I did with them in school. But isn’t that true everywhere? Parents are reserved until they know that you hold their child in high regard, that you will take care of them to every extent of your possibility.

So now that all this is available to me, it’s becoming harder to grasp that I will soon be leaving. But of course you can never move on unless you actually go. And I know there is more for me to experience. Reminds me of a Jack Kerouac quote, “What is the feeling when you're driving away from people, and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? -it's the too huge world vaulting us, and it's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.”

I don’t want this to be marked as the beginning of the end. A month (or really 3 weeks) is a long time. With my incredible ability to successfully do things at the absolute, no doubt about it, last minute, I am pretty sure I have ample time to procrastinate and get more done. I feel pretty good so far, so thank you for supporting me thorough it all. I really wouldn’t be here without all of you that love me and fostered this confidence in me. Has the fever made me delirious and gushy….possibly? But in all seriousness, this has been a blessing. It’s where I need to be, but I wouldn’t have gotten this far if you all weren’t a part of my life.

And it wouldn't be complete without an adorable picture! HOLA JULIET!

TGISaturday

2010-03-06T18:44:00.000-08:00

Look! Everyone was pre-warned that my week was going crazy so leave me alone about blog delays! And it’s not entirely my fault. I had every intention of writing last night when I was awake with the babies but the internet was down. It made for a long night.

While Thursday was relatively uneventful, I made up for it on Friday. I had 3 classes of English to teach. This is only because I missed Tuesday due to teacher absences. For the older kids 1st -3rd I did clothes. They have had pretty good exposure to English before from other volunteer teachers and already flew thorough all the basics (introductions, numbers, colors, feelings, etc.) so I asked them what they wanted to learn. Clothes I choose, next week 3rd grade asked for sports. We had fun though. I brought a bunch of clothes and we dressed people up for different events (sleeping, church, school -where they wear uniforms- and everyday life), practicing the names of the articles as we put them on and took them off.

Here are the 2nd graders all dressed up:

And the whole class- I swear I have control at all times...

For Kinder/Pre-Kinder and Prepa we did parts of the body and practiced saying if something hurts. I thought this would be good for them to know, it might be especially helpful for me! Of course I made it fun. I drew and outline on the board and had the kids fill in the features, they think drawing on the board is the greatest thing since chocolate. (How misinformed are they, chocolate trumps all!) Then we sang head, shoulders..., and played Simon says.

On top of 3 classes, we had a fiesta in our classroom to celebrate the past February and future March birthdays, 4 total. It was fun and I am up for any situation involving carrot cake. In my opinion carrot cakes is probably the most underappreciated dessert. It’s totally forgotten if not ignored completely, yet it is absolutely delicious.

After Fiesta we ended the day with the school store. I’m really really pleased with how it’s going. The kids are understanding the concepts and they love it, they always feel proud, which is the most important. The teachers are very involved as well, they even made sure it happened last week when I was with my parents, which gives me confidence that it will continue. Also, we all agree there is a positive change in behavior or at least a conscious effort, especially at the morning meetings.

The store takes a long time too. Mainly, because we do it individually. Helping to count their money and explain what they can buy, but also that they can choose to save. Secondly, because the kids love to negotiate, in true Guatemalan fashion. I seriously should have taken them to the Lake Atitlan markets, we probably would have made out much better! I don't mind, even though it was an unexpected byproduct of this project, negotion is a great skill to learn.

Then I went to the baby house and stayed up all night…

Oh and I re-rigged one of the bouncers that were being used as swings to actually be a jumper. I am putting Antonia on a rigorous 15-20 minute a day jumper workout to strengthen her spaghetti-like legs. She is 2 and cannot walk, but can stand. I really want to see her take her first steps before I leave.

P.S. When mom was here she put together my cereal box toy in under 5 minutes. I hate when that happens...

NO WORRIES…I’M ALIVE!

2010-03-03T13:27:00.000-08:00

But just barely. Sorry for the huge delay in blogs, it’s been crazy!

My parents arrived last Tuesday and I met them in Antigua way early Wednesday morning in a totally Guatemalan fashion. I spent $30 American to NOT have to take a shuttle or cab and just have a quick, easy, safe, private ride waiting to take me to Antigua when I arrived at the airport at the crack of dawn. Of course this ride doesn’t show, so I am on the phone with the shuttle company and they are going to “remedy” the situation. Instead, a rusty- toxic emitting cab shows up that can barely make it up the mountain roads, even the chicken busses were passing us (brightly painted school busses, you need to see one to believe them)! Needless to say I get there, but hey its Guatemala.

We spent 3 nights in Antigua and went to Lake Atitlan for a day. Antigua is beautiful, very catered to tourists and completely hidden behind walls. In Guatemala, the façade of every building is hidden behind a protective wall, in order to experience Antigua specifically, but Guatemala in general, you need to look behind the wall and through every doorway.

Highlight at Lake Atitlan- I found HUMMUS. Actually I found an Israeli restaurant (shocking!) and they had hummus and it was amazing and blissful and pretty much completed my life.

Actually, Lake Atitlan is gorgeous and the towns are charming in a very untraditional way. They are a true blend of tourist and authentic culture. Lots of textile markets and if you walk far enough you can find the food too, selling fruit, bread, tortilla, vegetables, rice and beans.

We ended our trip by flying up to Tikal and walking though the Mayan ruins, which are truly incredible, especially if you consider that they built structures up to 70 meters without the use of metals, the wheel, or animal power. I loved climbing on the ruins, being able to touch them and interact with the structures. It makes the experience so personal, and I crossed one more thing of my bucket list!

Ok so that’s the cliff notes and gets us back to Monday, when my parents came to the orphanage. There is a room here full of computers and so I tasked my Dad with taking a look and organizing a little. We basically discovered that nothing works and if it turns on (which was only 4 of about 20) the hard-drive has been wiped so clean there isn’t even an operating system. But we wouldn’t know much anyway because all the computer accessories (ie. mouse and keyboard) are so dated they don’t fit into the USB port computers. Basically, it’s a total mess and personally, I think they should get rid of it all and start fresh with 5 or 6 compatible computers.

It would be amazing if we could get the kids access to a program of computer literacy. For the future, and even now, computer skills matter more than anything else when it comes to careers. Even just using a computer can compensate for weaknesses in other areas. Even I am able to conceal the fact that I can’t sepll, (well mostly).

Really good week! But it’s amazing how when you go away, your work doesn’t. Which is why life was CRAZY yesterday. We were down a teacher in the classroom unexpectedly, and of course today was Wednesday, which is my alone day anyway. So, I decided to make today numbers day! I made individualized packets for each of the kids depending on their level and they had number games in them, like find the numbers and color, connect the dots and price the objects. Of course these packets were drawn by hand, because the copier is a rarity. Then in the afternoon we did a scavenger hunt. I put numbers all around the outside and they had to run from 1-10 in order. At 10 were lollypops. I also made BINGO cards but we ran out of time- maybe tomorrow?

Then last night I also attended a Guatemalan bridal shower. It was a surprise for one of the teachers/parents who is getting married and leaving Casa B next month. The women were so sweet, they made cards with important messages about marriage, someone did testimonial and we did the traditional game of taping money to the bride. Usually I loathe those kinds of events, but this was simple, nice and truly from the heart and there were no corny games and the food was delicious. I can’t even describe this pastry, but it was made in caramelized fig juice with fresh figs on top and inside a crape like wrap with the thickness of a pancake. Hey, that’s actually not a bad description!

Ok that’s enough, and I’m at present day. Where I have my first second to write and procrastinate translating my English lesson plan into Spanish for tomorrow. So there it is, I’m alive and back and I can’t believe I only have one more month. Time has flown- pardon my cliché.

Laundry awaits…

Black Sand Beaches Burn

2010-02-23T13:24:00.000-08:00

So Mom and Dad are on their way here as I write! At least I hope, I know the snow is supposed to be pretty intense now for you New Yorkers.

So excited! Both to see them and travel around Guatemala a little more. But before I get ahead of myself here are some pictures from my weekend (kind of out of order), enjoy!

Epic stairs diving my house and the baby house- there's more (147 to be exact)uncaptured in this photo

Who Me?

Just your average night in the baby house- P.S. Can I please bring him home??

Students!!

The School Store- on the floor of my room

Banks

I Don't Play Favorites (but if I did...)

Hard at Work

AHHHHH The Life

Beach Casa

Beach Town

School Store in Action

Your a Little Burnt (aka back to work!)

FOOD

2010-02-22T18:37:00.000-08:00

Let’s talk about it. I think I am the only person in this whole universe that can (and will) travel to strange and bizarre locations and actually pack on pounds. How does one manage to do this in Africa and Central America? As an expert in this particular field, I will share my full-proof method.

1)Buy local. I’m talking the food they sell on the streets. It’s so authentic and cheap and then you have the ability to make up in quantity the money you would have originally saved.

2)Never turn down authentic cuisine. This is how I ended up eating smiley:

and more recently pork grinds. Never would have considered this in the US, but this was fresh from a road –side stand. And with a little lime and picante (green spicy stuff) it was actually pretty good. Just try not to think about the fact that you are eating deep-fried pig skin and the layer of fat.

3)Also take advantage of the good stuff. With everything being cheap treat yourself to a nice restaurant, multiple times. And when you find something you really like, return to get more. After all, once you leave the country it’s all over.

4)Supplement new meats with wonderful carbs- here it is tortilla and tostada. And don’t forget to top your carbs with amazing things like guacamole, cheese, refried-beans and more picante.

5)Fruits. Papaya, zapote, mango verde, etc. Try anything and everything, the more exotic the better.

6)Magnum bars- God’s gift to foreign countries. Never have I seen one in the US, but in all other countries take advantage of the vanilla ice cream, encrusted in dark chocolate and frequently topped with almonds.

So there you have it. The guide to eating in interesting places, with excellent precision. Be sure not to miss any of the key points and you will likely return with tighter jeans and a respect for the glory days of pizza and beer. With all do respect- Mrs. Gilbert ain't got nothing on me!

Oh No Is This ME?!

2010-02-20T07:28:00.001-08:00

“Some people simply cannot learn other languages once they’ve acquired their birth language. It’s not a matter of intelligence or application. It’s simply the way their minds are structured.”
-Youth in Revolt by C.D. Payne.

My Spanish is getting better, but not at any alarming pace. What if I am destined for a uni-lingual life!

Wait is this even a reliable source? Regardless, this is NOT what I want to be reading while living in a country where I DON’T SPEAK THE LANGUAGE!

Update

2010-02-19T19:35:00.000-08:00

Well jeez, sorry for the 2 day delay in blogs (Mom).

So here’s the going-ons south of the boarder:

On Tuesday I went to my first “women’s group,” and it was amazing. Every week the women at Casa Bernabe get together sing, pray, laugh and discuss a topic. Because it’s what they know best, it’s usually grounded in the Bible, but it’s really a life discussion too. This week: When do you feel most good, most empowered, at your best? Great thing also, the food! We had this sweet corn like bread thing. Awesome. And on top of it all I feel a change in attitude. I feel like I have a better relationship with people that I barely knew before, I am much more a part of the community.

Today we had a fiesta at the baby house. The girls that come on Thursday from the surrounding neighborhoods came for lunch today and brought a piñata, nachos and cake. The babies loved it, of course, and it was really nice they got a change of routine. Especially because all the other houses do fun things that the babies don’t usually participate in. For example, yesterday (Thursday) there was a “skit night” to thank the small group that is here. All the houses did something, and although it started at the babies bed-time, I think it would be really good if some of the older ones (who are 3 and 4) got to go. They have very limited stimulus as it is, and very little concept of the walls beyond the baby house. It would be fun, I think they would enjoy what they see, even though they won’t understand. Plus, this is their family, they should feel a part of the community as early as possible.

In other news, the nighttime routine has gone by the wayside. Don’t know what happened there, it was going so well too! But a small carpet has appeared. It's brilloly, but softer and warmer than the tile.

We didn’t go to Disney on ice…so bummed. I heard that it was cancelled. I don’t know if that means the show or just for us, but either way it’s a good thing the kids didn’t know. I think that’s why they don’t tell them anything, because last minute unplanned changes with very little explanation is the Guatemalan way. Not good for kids. It’s just one of those cultural things. Like I said, time is a framework, schedules are not definite, and everything is fluid and flexible.

School store launched today. It went really well considering Monday the copier didn’t work so there was no currency and Tuesday someone took all the money after we cut it out. So Wednesday, as punishment, no one could earn money. Then we uncovered the missing money in a precarious spot. Needless to say, the store was open today. They loved it too. They talked all day about “buying” and were squirming when they did. They literally ran to show their house parents and were so excited. I only sold the “cheaper” items, and even convinced three into buying one thing and saving some money for the stuff they really want next week. Not too shabby. Most though were really into spending everything on candy. It was quantity over quality. Three is a start though; hopefully they will become the example.

English is going well too, we practiced numbers this week by playing “What time is it, Senor Fox.” Lots of fun.

I am working tonight in the baby house. Were curling up to watch Julie and Julia. Love, but Julia Powell kind of annoys me at times. And tomorrow I am disappearing with Claudia and her family to go to the beach! Well, I'm doing some other work as well... It was my weekend to work, but this time off is what I get for covering Friday school nights on my actual weekends off. Pretty excited, so worth it!

So that should bring you blog deprived people (Mom) up to date.

PS- I want him!

Two Funny Stories:

2010-02-17T13:13:00.000-08:00

1) Last night I, being a genius, decided to flip the bibs. That simply means I took all the bibs piled in the draw and flipped the piles over. I only did this because we use the top 1/3 every day, and never get to the bottom and I was sick of seeing the same ones over and over. So about an hour ago I put a frilly pink bib on a baby and my eyes are met with the word SLUT. Ok so I assuming this was an oversight. Someone donated it because they didn’t want their baby wearing a slut bib, and no one here really noticed or understood what it said/meant. Needless to say I explained and the bib has been discarded. My only regret is that I didn’t snag a picture. But I think the pressing question is: Who would concieve/produce/sell such a thing?!

2) The word in Spanish for handsome: guapo, the word for fat: gordo. I have been confusing the two since my arrival here and only realized my mistake today when I called a baby fat but in a high pitched squeal “tu esta gooordo (your soooo faatttt),” and the girls I work with literally couldn’t control themselves. At what age do you develop a self-esteem? I can’t recall all my uses of the word, but I can be assured I’ve called several of the boys fat, meaning handsome. And some were definitely older, in my class. Whoops. Well at least no one seemed too offended.

Tomorrow we are taking my class to Guatemala City for…. DISNEY ON ICE!!! EEEEEEEEEEE!

I may be more excited than the kids.

"One has only a life of one's own"

2010-02-15T19:55:00.000-08:00

For most of my childhood I sought something so great, so grand, so completely unimaginably wonderful that it took me 22 years to uncover. This morning as I tore into a brand new box of Honey Nut Cheerios and poured a generous portion into my bowl, I yelped with glee as out came…THE PRIZE. The dream of every child as they scour the cereal isles, obviously choosing potential winnings over anything else. This morning resolved my years of disappointment, my years of hateful voiceovers disclaiming, “prize not guaranteed.” I ripped into my toy nearly spilling my milk, biting my tongue in greed. Now, fourteen hours later and I still can’t figure out how to put it together. It is obvious that it is some kind of plastic jet-packing man with a cardboard wing attachment and a sticker page (I have included a picture for your viewing pleasure), but nothing fits together. Therefore, from the moment I won the cereal jackpot, my day has gone down-hill.

The photocopier is out of ink, so I didn’t get to print my money for the school store, hopefully tomorrow (but it is also pictured below). I spilled un-washable paint on my only pair of jeans (Mom and Dad you’re bringing me another pair), and my feet are so riddled with bug bites that I want two new ones (preferably size 8). Basically I enjoyed the sun all day yesterday, sitting barefoot in the field, doing yoga, reading and working, that I didn’t notice I was breakfast, lunch and dinner for the bugs. It hurts. But fun fact: inlue of anything better, diaper rash cream works pretty well as an anti-itch!

All this doesn’t really amount to what made my day rough. The real story is I feel like I failed one of my students. To start at the beginning, a significant portion of the kids here are pulled from awful home situations. They have experienced our worst nightmares, and in many cases they are coping with previous sexual abuse. Unfortunately, this means that they will try to relate to people in a sexual way or when they feel uncomfortable or threatened, they resort to certain behaviors. As a result, we are protective of every child, supervise the bathrooms and other “alone” places. This is difficult however at recess, because the kids just run everywhere.
I hung back in the classroom today, which I have never done before, to finish up some lettering for our play. Each class puts on a play based on a theme word, we have forgiveness , and I was doing the lettering to cover the shields, another story, another day.

But into the classroom comes one of my darling students in hysterics and totally unlike him, sits at his desk. I ask what’s wrong, but clearly can’t grasp the situation. This is where I feel that the language barrier really gets in the way. I can teach, communicate in the baby house, but when something is really wrong, I can barely understand the problem and I certainly can’t work through a solution in Spanish. I bring him to the other teachers and watch them get all serious and deal with it, prompt, strict and intense. What warranted such a response was a claim that in the bathroom, another boy was kissing and touching him inappropriately. He felt cornered and scared. Of course, we take everything into consideration, a lot of teasing, exaggerating and lying occurs, as well, but it made me realize how strong and resilient these kids are.

I sometimes worry about how far behind they are developmentally or in school, and sometimes it’s hard to see their struggle because here they live in wonderful homes, in a family community, with people who love them and provide for them, but they really are coping with so much more than I can imagine. Numbers and letters might be a challenge, but they have learned and overcome things I can barely imagine. The mental and physical energy that that requires must be overwhelming. I can pretty much always hear children playing and while I know so few of them in any personal way, knowing that they come from such heart-wrenching situations and can still play with complete innocence, is comforting.

So there it is the stark contrast. A tragedy in my childhood was a prize-less box of cereal…

PS The title quote is from the "Poisonwood Bible" by Barbara Kingsolover- a favorite of mine!

Mi Fin de Semana

2010-02-14T13:22:00.000-08:00

If I ignore the fact that it’s Valentine’s Day I had a great weekend. Why do I hate today? 1) I think you should express to the people you love, how much you love them every day, not on an arbitrary Hallmark created holiday and 2) Hallmark created Valentine’s Day because there was too much lag time between Christmas and Mothers Day. The chocolate companies agreed because Easter is rather far off too. That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.

Anyway, I had one of those weekends where you feel refreshed but also really accomplished! I “did not sleep” in the baby house on Friday night. It wasn’t my turn again, but I covered for one of the girls because she has school all day Saturday. I know what it’s like trying to go to 5 hours of class on 2 hours of sleep; I know it is usually a waste of your efforts because you end up dazed through the day, so I really didn’t mind. Therefore Saturday morning from 7 – noon was devoted to resting myself. Then I lazyed around, finished my book- Pretty in Plad by Jen Lancaster, not a must read but you will laugh the whole way through if you do, and in evening I played outside with some of the boys who are in my classes. I like hanging out with them not in class. It’s so helpful to see a different side of them, nice that I can let them play and don’t have to discipline them for it and also bonding. I think they begin to trust me more, when they see that I am a part of their community too. I can still make this play a learning experience as well, we had some chalk so we wrote our names and I like that they are so creative in play, even if they struggle with it in the classroom. It’s almost like the environment changes how they think. They can make up any game with literally any object, yesterday they were playing some sort of battle game with palm tree branches, but if you ask them to draw a picture in class of whatever they want, they are completely stumped.

Watched Junebug. Not at all what I expected. Didn’t love, but it was sweet. It’s a good choice if you have the time, not a priority.

Sunday, today, was church, which here I love, and a relaxing day in general. I bought all the stuff I need for the School Store when DC and I went out on Wednesday. I’m calling her DC because that is where she is from and she’s my BFF here. DC got here the week after me and is staying for 6 months. We’re about the same age and totally bonded over Lost. I can literally find a Lost buddy anywhere on this earth! Anyway, Tony, the one who runs the farm as well as a multitude of other things, lent us his car (or should I say boat?) and we went to Hiper, driving amongst the crazies and chicken buses on the narrow roads of Guatemala. Afterwards, in true American fashion, we got some ice creams at… McDonalds! Wal-Mart and McDonalds, Peanut butter and Jelly, you get the idea. Needless to say, I am proud of my Spanish skills to order exactly what I wanted in a drive-thru (Oreo McFrosty- doesn’t even need a translation! Ahhhhh the universal language of MickyDees!)

But I digress. I bought too little for the whole school, but way more than I need for Special Ed class alone. I am just so excited! Great stuff, notebooks, pencils, some candy, but also play dough (to be sold separately),some matchbox cars, colored pencils, activity books and stickers. Were piloting in Special Ed these next two weeks and the teacher is really enthusiastic about it. If all goes well, we can add some other classes slowly. Probably the ones I teach English in. Like I said before, the younger kids will be more into buying because the stuff is catered to them, but I want to get the older kids involved in selling. Maybe in the future, each class will have a Friday that it is their responsibility to “work” the store. I also decided that even if this doesn’t extend beyond my presence, which will be a little disappointing, I can at least look at it as a month long school project. I did plenty of those, and the learning experiences have stuck with me. I will never forget the 2nd grade robots, 4th grade explorer game, the 5th grade pioneer march or even events like 100s day. If all it becomes is a fun-learning project/experience, that could be enough.

So today I priced all the wares. I have some things that everyone should be able to buy at the end of a week, even if they only earn 1Q. I stuck to the currency here, quetzals (Q's), to keep it easy and relevant. But the idea is that stuff they will really want is going to be more expensive so they might have to “save” for a week or two to afford it. I’m trying to move away from the instant gratification they rely on.

I also made the money today and just have to have it photocopied tomorrow. On top of all that I worked out some English lesson plans (numbers this week) and games to play with the topics and I’m done arranging my transportation to Antigua and the stay of my parents at Casa Bernabe in 2 weeks!

Last week in English we did colors and shapes, and colors only in kinder/pre-kinder. For them I dictated a picture to draw. “With the blue crayon, draw a sky. With the green crayon, draw the grass. With the orange crayon, draw a balloon.” Etc. Then with the others we played bingo. The cards had different shapes in different colors, but to make it simple we played one round only focusing on colors and one only focusing on shapes. It went really well, but everything takes longer than I anticipated! Regardless I really like teaching.

So I think it’s time for me and DC to take a walk to the StarMart (At every Texaco station, all across the nation) down the road. Big Valentine’s Day plans: getting some food at the gas station store. At least it has bar stools and a counter!

Guatemala Life

2010-02-12T22:36:00.000-08:00

I’ve decided to become a morning blogger, as I now wake up at 5:45 and don’t have the distractions of anyone else being awake (ie. new e-mails, facebook or AIM). So I hope you will bear with me at this ungodly hour. I also think that I am better in the morning, with any lingering bitterness dreamt away and a new day ahead. That or I am just too tired to have a good filter.

After having been here nearly A MONTH I realize I haven’t shared anything about Guatemala, the country, culture, climate or my random thoughts. So here are my observations in no particular order:

1)Every man, woman and child eats with a fork in one hand and a rolled up tortilla in the other, alternating bites.
2)The stars are amazing, I look at them every night breathless (from the extreme stair climbing I must do) while listening to the sprinklers watering the crops of the entire vegetable and herb supply for the orphanage. It is grown on-site which is amazing and has provided for the orphanage funding to add foods to their diet, like fruit and ice cream treats.
3)The country is extremely mountainous. Much more than I thought. My expectation was more of a jungle climate. There are four active volcanoes: Pacaya (where you can see a lava flow if you climb it, which I have every intention of doing by the way), Santa Maria, Santiaguito, and Fuego
4)I imagined everyone to speak a sort of Spanglish…not so, it’s real, fast, full on Spanish…all the time. I am the ONLY one who consistently speaks Spanglish, and I totally make it work!
5)Crucial point! The coffee here is amazing. Drinking it with milk however is an absurdity. Just sugar is allowed.
6)It never rains. It is a perfect 75 and sunny everyday, and I have every reason to believe that will continue forever (or at least until a volcano erupts).
7)The trade off….. lots of mini earthquakes.
8)The biggest meal of the day is lunch, complete with vegetables and meat. Therefore everyone goes comatose and rests around 2pm. Dinner is just downhill from there, rice and bean…always. I do, however, like eating this way, big meal in the middle, light before bed.
9)It takes me 3 days to complete a shower, I am on a rotation: Day 1 hair washing, Day 2 shaving, Day 3 enjoying forty-five seconds blissful seconds of hot water.
10)You will be able to find ANYTHING from the United States here, anything you name it! They do not have their own brands or unusual labels, everything in stores is in English and recognizable. For example, my roommate, who has never been to the US, and I have the exact same Old Navy sweatshirt.
11)Every single person has been mugged, once if not more. It’s a shame that it is so risky to travel, because the country is so beautiful, but the poor economic situation has created a gang lifestyle. All anyone wants is money and cell phones (a huge commodity), but it is so unfortunate. They are also frequently pick-pocketed
12)I am really tall. Or everyone is short. Either way I stand out because of my height. I am even as tall or taller than most men.
13)Off the back of the orphanage you can see the rich portion of Guatemala City’s population. The houses are huge, Beverly Hills style and the cars are amazing too. The contrast is so drastic.
14)Every sentence is completed with “verdad”- meaning “true?” It is usually posed as a question, not a statement, even if it is meant to be.
15)People are more relaxed, time is a framework for the day and everyone greets you like you’ve known them for ages.

In short, I am really loving it here!

Once Upon a Time, We Were All a Baby

2010-02-11T19:57:00.000-08:00

I love how babies don’t conceal their emotions, at all times the express exactly how they feel. If they need to throw a temper-tantrum and cry, exactly where they are is as convenient a place as ever. And a moment later they will smile and laugh. They can be over it just as quickly. When someone or something makes them mad they give it a slap or shove. They run with joy and squeal as loud as they want. If they want to play they just start the game. They talk to themselves and no one thinks it’s weird. And if a baby needs a snuggle, they can approach anyone and no one will turn them away.

Sometimes I think the world would be a much better place if we developed less inhibition and acted more like we were as babies. What if we spent one day, acting on every emotional up and down we felt to its fullest extent?

Some Things Are Just Weird and Freaky

2010-02-10T20:13:00.000-08:00

I ate my last Dove today, the quote: "Volunteer from your heart."

I kid you not, and life is not a series of coincidences. Thats not Dove, thats me.

My Latest Brilliant Idea

2010-02-09T13:32:00.000-08:00

A SCHOOL STORE! And it’s going to work too.

So the thing is EESA (my South African program) has me thinking in deliverables. Which means that, although everyone is telling me my loving presence is enough, I do not think this is true. I like concrete things to be accomplished that ideally will continue after I am gone. Because of EESA I have chosen four “deliverables.” In the baby house, my goal is (1) mats/crib toys and (2) a nighttime routine. This is starting to be more successful, even with only 5 of us. We have started to do the baby's dishes while they eat, get them out and changed and then re-seated in the living room. Some nights we sing, sometimes we read, others it’s both. And then we end with a prayer and the ninos RUN to bed…they love this! After they go to bed, we eat, and by holding off we can do this routine. Since last Thursday, we have done this on Friday, Saturday and Monday. Not too shabby, and I think it really makes them happy.

In the school they asked me to give an English test at the end of my time. I am not so comfortable with this. Especially since I am not only in each classroom once a week and try to keep it casual. I want to play games with the kids and get them involved in their learning. If they learn English too it’s a bonus. But after being in the school, I decided that “English” class would be more about interactive learning. That to me is more important. And until the students start having fun with education, they're really not going to learn much anyway. So deliverable 3: An English Concert. I have decided that participation in the class song will be the equivalent of taking a final. Each class is going to have a song, based on some week’s topic, that they will stand up and perform. They also have to help make the poster displaying the lyrics (in pictures for the younger classes) and introduce their class and the song in English.

Finally, the main point, the school store or deliverable 4. The kids don’t get out much, they don’t use money, operate on a system of instant gratification, are only disciplined not rewarded and don’t really have anything entirely their own. So I am going to buy pencils, stickers, hair clips, little action figures, notebooks, candy…basically all that stuff that you would get in an 8 year old birthday party goody bag. I am also going to make some fake money, just fives and ones, which the kids can earn for being good, working hard, helping a teacher, or doing something nice. On Friday’s I will set up my store and they can buy something special for themselves. Hopefully I can get the older kids involved in selling with me, and they can help to keep it running after I am gone. Therefore the learning is three-fold and possilby more:

1)Patience, they will get money, but have to wait to Friday to see the reward.
2)Dealing with money, in general, comparing prices to how much they have, and adding up what they can afford. As well as saving for somthing they want, and waiting if they can't afford it just yet. Not to mention, being responsible, putting the money in a safe place.
3)Working hard and being good leads to having things you want.

I am starting this in the special education classroom next week, and am hoping to go school-wide by mid-March. Start small, see how it all works out, and I have the blend of older and younger in the one room. My concern is this: I am donating the “wares” but after I am gone, they are going to need more things to “sell” and since this is not real money, the products are going to have to be donated or come from some fund that doesn’t yet exist.

Please! I am open to suggestions!

And thank you Janet for the suggestion I teach math this way and Westorchard Elementary for the business concept.

Cock-a-doodle-doo

2010-02-07T18:33:00.000-08:00

How Guatemala is similar to college:

1) I live on a campus, in a dorm, with a shared bathroom and roomie
2) The food is limited in selection and repetitive
3) I go to school
4) It is an excellently, worthwhile, justifiable way of not being a financially independent individual
5) Apparently I pull all-nighters (which I only did twice in college- and I’m not even sure if they count because I cheated and napped.)

Yes, that’s right; I did my first night shift in the baby house and literally saw the sun rise. Although I did catch a few ZZZZZZZZ’s around 5:30am. The night went really well. I definitely could have slept more, but I was a little paranoid, it being my first time and all, that a child would stop breathing or something on MY watch. Also, it is incredible how much a rooster sounds like a baby at the top note of their most perfect wail. Basically, whenever the rooster would sound (which is fairly regularly, it is a myth that they only “cock-a-doodle “in the morning) I sat to attention thinking it was a baby down the hall. Finally, I hunted the noise down to outside the walls, still it drove me crazy. After tracking it to the window closest to the farm, which is above the shower in the bathroom, not an easy place to get, I was certain that I wanted rooster for lunch.

The older ones (which are the majority) sleep through the night with no problems. Most of the babies wake around 4am an need a bottle and a change, otherwise they are usually good. Its little 2 month old Miguel that will give me my first grays. He sleeps 4-5 hours without needing a bottle which is great. But once he woke up at 12:30 for his first bottle, he could not get back to sleep. This is because he is so congested he can’t breathe through his nose, but uses a pacifier or his thumb to lull himself to sleep. Basically he could not get comfortable.

The thing about an orphanage is the mortal fear of more than two babies needing you. One is enough, two manageable, three and you just have no arms left. And when a cry goes off, you begin to plead, “pleaseeeeee, don’t wake anyone else!” The other thing about an orphanage, babies are really good at sleeping through noise and tuning out crying.

During the night I watched both Amelia, which was EHH and New York, I Love You, which I HIGHLY recommend. Some of the stories were good, some really weird and some had me in tears both laughing and crying. Pretty much sounds like NY, plus the cast is amazing.

I’m really proud that I made it through the day without napping, but now I am crashing fast. Especially, since I had the pleasure of eating dinner with Claudia and her family at their home. It was wonderful. But it has led to a long day. Damn I hate roosters!

The Tri-Fecta (or the reason I haven't written in a while)

2010-02-05T04:35:00.000-08:00

I’m pretty sure a post is way past due, but I’m not sure where to begin. Babies, English class or special education?

So much has been going on this week, including the season premier of Lost, the final season, which I have traveled to great lengths to procure. And it has proven totally worth it!

In Casa Promesa (the baby house, I think it’s a cute name: House of Promise), the only thin blue carpet, that covered half the play area has disappeared! I’m pretty sure I understand this is because it was holding the potent smell of the diarrhea incident (see Monday February 1st) as well as the remnants of other bodily functions it obtained through the years. This now means that the babies play on a tile floor all the time. Very clean. But it also means that the non-walkers, are now in swings or chairs all the time, and are no longer interacting with the other babies or have toys to play with. In place of the rug is a small mat, think gymnastics class, that is sometimes laid out but never cleaned. Still, I like the idea! After talking with the donations coordinator, I think more of these mats would me better than another rug (hard to clean) and those puzzle piece mats. Apparently they had those once and they accumulate a lot of crud in the spaces that is difficult to fully get out. Needless to say, those mats are now sitting in the corner of my special ed classroom collecting dust.

Tonight however, was really great in the baby house. Some days we have local kids from the wealthy neighborhood behind the orphanage come hang out. There were 4 today so we got the kids fed, changed and ready for bed very fast. We even had time to do some dishes and other clean up. After, we were able to sit them all down in the living room for a story, song and pray before bed. This would be my ideal every night, unfortunately, without 9 people, it is more of a challenge and effort.

I also need to print a retraction: our newest baby, is in fact 8 months old, based on her doctor’s visit. She is only 12lbs though, and so tiny you would never guess that by appearance. They think she was really premature, and has development and mal-nutrition problems.

Which brings me to my next topic: Special education. First of all I should back up and explain that there are two teachers in the classroom. One for the younger set, 5-10 year olds and one for the teenagers. The teacher for the teenagers is much better, she tries to spend forty minutes to an hour with each student personally. Unfortunately, that leaves the other five to be doing things like:

Math: Listing numbers 1-1,000 (that I discovered on Monday they don’t know). I mean they know the order of the numbers, but they can’t say any number above 100 if asked.

Science: aka geography. Learning names of lakes, rivers, ports, mountains in North, Central and South America.

Handwriting: Practicing letters over and over again or copying passages from the Bible

Reading: Ma, Me, Mi, Mo, Mu…. You get the idea. Sounds, small words, not stories. I’m pretty sure they can’t read the passages they copy from the Bible.

Basically, everything is based on memorization; there is no concept behind it. This is probably okay for some kids, but it clearly wasn’t working for these, hence their placement in special ed.

Next: I LOVE Wednesday’s. Why? Because the teacher for the younger kids doesn’t come on Wednesday, and they class is all mine. She leaves things to do, I usually edit this agenda. So kill me. For example, she left a picture to color. I drew some lines on it when the kids were done, made them cut it out and paste it back together on construction paper. They seemed to like the activity and it was a good challenge for some. Then we played color and shape bingo. After went outside and I had them running around after different colors and shapes I would call out.

I am getting much better at communicating instructions is Spanish but it is really difficult disciplining and negotiating with the kids. I feel like that the only way I can get them to behave is by engaging them with fun activities and using rewards (lollypop anyone?).

Finally, on Monday we graduated one of our special ed kids to Prepa, which goes in between kinder and premerio (1st grade). Essentially it is pre-first, and while he is the oldest in his class, at least, everyone is at the same place, and will be moved at the same pace. It’s a good move, and we are left with six, two of which are ahead of the other four. It evens the playing field to teach the special ed class as well.

English: I taught pre kinder (age 4) and kinder (age 5) on Tuesday and Prepa (6-7), Premiero (6-8) and Segundo (7-9) today, Thursday. It got much easier with the older grades, but I was surprised that the teachers left me alone in the rooms and did who knows what during my time! Again, I could communicate the material, but it was difficult keeping control at times. I’m pretty pleased with the results, especially with the older groups. For pre-kinder and kinder I think I’m going to have to modify my lessons a little. The thing that’s really nice, however, is because I live here the kids see me all the time and talk to me. Today, for example, one of the first graders caught me walking around during nap time at the baby house and says: “Hi, Miss.” Now I reply in English with them, so I asked “How are you?” and he said, “bien.” So I reminded, “good.” But I was pleased that he at least came up to the right response to my question, even if it was in Spanish, at least he understood.

Lastly, I promise. I am involved in this Secret Santa at school but for Valentine’s day. This week and next we leave little presents like candy or a card for our Valentine, and then next Friday, at the party, we reveal with a big gift. It’s nice, but it occurred to me today that if you translate English to Spanish, the rhymes no longer work! And nothing rhymes with azul the Spanish word for blue.

WARNING: THIS ENTRY CONTAINS EXPLOSIVE MATERIAL!

2010-02-01T17:56:00.000-08:00

Ok , my day in one word: SHIT. Not my day was shit, it was just consumed with it. Apparently there is some food (I think it was the egg/refried beans combo from last night’s dinner) that coordinates worse with babies than pork bbq. I’m talking diarrhea up the wazoo! Sorry if this is grossing you out, maybe I should preface this story with: put down your food and read on an empty stomach!

So this darling baby was in a swing, not fussing, kind of playing with some plastic keys, but mostly watching the other babies. AKA: no sign of what I was about to get elbow deep in. I pick her up to put her in a feeding chair and she is covered in nastyness. Back, front, legs, feet, outer-layers of clothing, the swing and now me! I mean she even nailed her sweater, which falls above the diaper line. Literally it was immediately to the tub. But I couldn’t get her clothes off without spreading the nasty. Consider this as well, babies don’t stand, the only way to keep them upright is holding them against yourself. If this was the only incident it wouldn’t have been terrible. However, my darling chica was one of the last. This was ongoing all day. There were literally lines at the tub, we were whipping kids out of bed during nap (never done), and trying to get them to sit on the toilet (very difficult). During nap, someone even treated us to a box of nursing gloves it was THAT bad, and considering we deal with poop all day, cleaning it, discussing it and monitoring it, gloves were an extreme measure.

Maybe I should end on an up-note: I’m so “in” they let me administer nightly medicine now! I think anyone who didn’t run away kicking and screaming for a shower today has proved their worth. So that’s the glass half full, the bright side, the greener grass. I am now a medicine distributing member of the baby house team!

Tomorrow is my first English class too…wish me luck!

2010-01-31T17:02:00.000-08:00

"Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe"

Communication

2010-01-30T20:08:00.000-08:00

I made it to a hiper today and STOCKED UP. Got some essentials (aka chocolate) but mainly supplies and tools for English class.

It actually RAINED today! I am shocked. It’s been gorgeous and sunny all the time and I felt rain and didn’t know what to do! It is amazing how easy and willing I am to adjust to no change in weather, especially when the weather is always in my favor.

But the reason I am writing this blog is to share an adorable baby story (or two). One of our toddlers is really picking up language quickly. In the two short weeks I have been here, he literally went from barely talking to no stop blabbering. This is huge, not just for any baby, but especially in an orphanage, where language develops a lot slower. This is because the toddlers mostly communicate with each other and listen to each other rather than adults. Anyway, his command of language is really becoming impressive, and its inspiring our difficult “potty-training girl” to use her words more as well. The cute part is he talks to all the other babies as they are in their cribs at night. When each one comes in he says hello and goodnight and we can hear him telling them things during nap time. The other night when I was leaving the baby house the window to the boy’s room was open and he was talking and talking, so I sat down on the steps to listen. No one was crying (very unusual) they were all just sitting and listening and I was too. Finally, he says really loud “Jesus, Amen!” and stops talking. It was quite and I can only assume he prayed them all to sleep. It was absolutely adorable! I ran up the 100 step mountain side to tell my roommate, breathless and in poor Spanish.

Ok one more. So my first week in the baby house they would spank the kids with a flattened wooden spoon when they really misbehaved. It was the most extreme punishment, and would be used sparingly but still it bothered me so much! It’s one of those cultural things that absolutely shocked me! Last weekend they got two chairs that buckle a child in very tightly. Now they are the time out chairs, no more spoons! Actually, the first step is being taken from the play room and having to keep your hands on the wall for a couple of minutes, a highchair is the second strike, then the chairs, the worst is being put under cold water.

The cute part of the story was one of the girls was in a highchair punishment and she convinced one of the other kids to keep giving her toys. If you have ever watched toddlers play, you know they don’t give up their toys easily. It is not even so much that they play, as carry around a toy that is “theirs.” They are very possessive over this and are guaranteed to cry when it is stolen. Regardless, this cute chica had a flood of toys coming to her.

The point I am trying to make is that I, and I’m sure others will agree, had severely underestimated a babies ability to communicate, even if they are not speaking a concrete language. Being in a country where I am struggling to learn the language as well, I have really appreciated how children pick it up, how fast and how susceptible they are to learning. I also see how crucial communicating with children is and how far they are set behind when the stimulus of language with adults is not there. It is interesting to be in the school and baby house, because I really see a correlation between the older kids struggling with reading and numbers, and how they developed early on.

As always thoughts and suggestions are so welcome!

Oh and the rain reminded me of my favorite quote:

“The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.”

Perpetuating the Cycle

2010-01-29T05:19:00.000-08:00

So yesterday was a very interesting day, and I’ve been sarcastic for too many days so I’m going to share some real details. I hope you enjoy the pictures though.

I am having so much trouble being in the special ed class and the reasons are numerous. The kids are so far behind and it’s because THEY DON’T DO ANYTHING! I guess I should explain that they do more than last week, but everyone is at such a different level it is impossible to “teach” the class. They are doing worksheets made by the teacher (which she does during class, so they start out drawing until she finishes their assignments) and it is stuff like: “color the bigger circle red and the smaller one blue.” While this is pretty good for the youngest kids, it’s way too easy for some of the older ones. I’ve learned that her Wednesday absences are going to be a weekly thing, so this past Wednesday, when two of the most advanced kids blew through the left work I had them copying numbers 1-10. This to was easy, they know how to write their numbers. Good sign. So I made the next exercise. I wrote a number in the center box, and they had to fill in what came before and after. This they found extremely difficult. I realized they can count, they can write numbers, but if I point to one, they cannot tell me what it is! Big problem, that shouldn’t be so by 7-9. I made some number cards for English, hopefully they will double in this classroom too. But 2 thinks I noted: 1) they didn’t mind being challenged a little and 2) “work together,” a very foreign concept.

The older kids however, the five on the other side of the classroom, list numbers. Each day is another set of 100. They literally have pages and pages of numbers written out in order. Feels very old nun and catholic school to me. They also write different sounds, beginning with a letter of the day, (example: ma, mo, me, met…) but then have a lot of trouble actually pouncing what they are writing.

To me it’s all the same problem. The kids learn to copy what they see, but can’t express what they copy. There is no creativity in the classroom either. They live their lives creatively, making up games all the time and using they toys they have for different things, but if you say they can draw anything they want (I did this on Wednesday) they have NO CLUE what to do with that. They are so used to coloring within the lines.

I think seeing what they come up with in free time would allow so much insight into their thoughts and feelings.

The classroom is most frustrating to me though because it’s hard for me to teach well. I can see the problems and I want to explain it, but that is a challenge when you don’t speak the language. My ability to help is seriously hindered by this.

Ok, here’s another example of how ridged this classroom is. Yesterday, I threw out a folder. I mean a floppy, weak, faded, torn, dirty, empty, on its last day of life folder (that was on the floor and being stepped on). About an hour later teacher asks if I put this in the trash.

“Sure,” I say.

“We don’t do that here,” she replies. And continues to shove it into a cabinet that is so jammed packed with old papers, it looked disguised at having to receive just one more folder.

I appreciate that everything for the school is a donated gift. I also love to reduce, reuse and recycle. But this classroom is so jam packed with years of material, they don’t even know what they have available to them (aka an abacus). Everything is stuffed into cabinets filled to the brim, dusty and usually in pieces. There are so many random photocopies that if you open the wrong door they fall out. There are kids school books and folders who are no longer in the class, let alone the orphanage. And in the corner is a huge pile of toys that are dirty and haven’t been put to use in years. There’s good stuff in there too, like legos. They also have the mats that I want for the baby house, but have, even though they are not being put to use, and that is totally another story! And with the abacus I saw puzzles and all sorts of stuff that just needs to be reassembled, cleaned and organized. They get tons of new school supplies every year, so why not throw out some of the old, freshen up the classroom and take stock? There are probably so fabulous teaching materials and methods hidden away. If it wasn’t locked at night, I would sneak down there and do it myself.

Finally, for your viewing pleasure

2010-01-28T17:58:00.000-08:00

There's my boy!

Our newest arrival

Our Helper!

Meeting in the corner

Its MY hammer

I'm totally into this drum

Do you like my new hat?

Oh Hi There!

Dear Kitchen Staff,

2010-01-28T17:57:00.001-08:00

Let me begin by thanking you for preparing all of our meals, three times a day. Let me continue my appreciation by saying that I thoroughly enjoyed your pork bbq this afternoon. So did the babies. However pork bbq and babies are not really synonymous. I have now witnessed this 18 times over.

Yours truly,
Lili

IT

2010-01-28T04:50:00.000-08:00

E-mail from Dad:

12:30am so i will be quick.

1. remove sd memory card frm camera.
2. place sd memory card in sd card slot on left side of computer
3. copy pictures onto computer
4. post on blog for all to enjoy
5. thank your dad

love
me - your IT guy!

Me:

Oh this computer has that! I see it now, so cool!

Thank you,

Your technically savvy daughter

Moral:

Pictures will be up tonight. I should get 50% of the credit for knowing what he is talking about. Technology is wonderful, especially when it comes with an IT person.

Yo Siento!

2010-01-27T18:18:00.000-08:00

I took about 50 pictures today, but telling you that was a tease.

About the only thing I forgot to pack was the cord that connects my camera to my computer. Therefore no picture viewing will occur until:

A) My loving parents visit, bringing the requisite wire
B) I get home
C) I make it to a hiper (aka Super Walmart) and they happen to sell the correct cord at a decent price

I'm sorry, but I'll try to keep you entertained with stories in the meantime!

P.S. Please excuse any spelling errors, I tried to spell check and EVERYTHING came up red. This is because my laptop is fluent in Spanish even if I am not. I'm also too lazy to copy and paste into Word. This disclaimer should suffice.

Whoopsey

2010-01-27T05:09:00.000-08:00

I had a little bit of an off day in the baby house yesterday. I lost track of time during nap and when I saw it was 4:02 (nap ends at 4), I sprinted down the steps to the house. When I got there it was nearly quarter after so all the babies had been woken and changed, making me really late. The thing is, it only takes a minute to walk casually between my house and the babies. Their clock must be about 10 minutes fast, so now I know.

Then at dinner I accidentally gave the lactose-intolerant baby a sippy cup with real milk. To my credit, he was crying and waving his bowl (the sign that they are done and ready for their milk cup) and everyone else was just eating and not paying attention. I just had no idea that the contents of one cup were different and it was for him, at lunch they drink juice, so no problems there. And the mistake was caught after 30 seconds, and he only drank a little bit. It’s not even that he’s deathly allergic, but he breaks out in a rash if he drinks “too much” milk. I also though his pox marks were chicken pox scars. The point is he is going to live and be fine and it wasn’t that damaging, but everyone kept talking about it for the next twenty minutes in front of me. I don’t know if they thought I couldn’t understand or if they would just do that for everybody, but it is really hard to defend yourself in another language, and I just felt discourage.

On top of that, potty training is really not going well. We literally go to the bathroom every fifteen to twenty minutes, and she always manages to wet her pants sometime in between. Seriously I have no clue what to do. Positive reinforcement, negative, neither works, both are just attention.

It’s well past time to get ready for school….

Vitamins

2010-01-26T13:34:00.000-08:00

My first Dove of the day: "Indulge in life's little luxuries."

and because I decided to take that advice

My second Dove of the day: "Inspire others to be their best by being your best."

Oh and I promise to get some pictures up soon!

A Case of the Monday's

2010-01-25T18:55:00.000-08:00

I think everyone today had a case of the Monday’s. At school the kids were wild, at the baby house they couldn’t be consoled. Long day.

School was another day of non-accomplishment. Except the school supplies are almost done so hopefully that means learning will start soon. The younger kids weaved string in and out of punched holes in the edge of paper, I think they were making folders for their school supplies, but I am not really sure. After sewing, the teacher drew a fish or snail on the folder and they colored it in, then (you guessed it) crumpled up tissue paper in the same colors and glued.

I did more math today with Pablo, however rather than give him numbers in the hundreds and thousands we did each number + 0, each number + 1, and then each number doubled, all before he could have his abacus back. I am trying to get him to see the patterns, which he does when he work a set in a row, but then when he approaches a more complicated problem, he forgets. After doing some two digit numbers with the abacus he closed his book, and I let him be done. I would rather he enjoy it than push for more.

The baby house welcomed another baby today, her name is Fey or Phee (I’m not sure how they are spelling it). Regardless, if you are keeping count that is 18! She’s a tiny infant, no more than 3-4 months (exact age…unknown). Here the babies are a lot smaller than they are in the super-sized states. The babies actually fit in the correct month sized clothes.

I am starting to put a list together of needs for the baby house. I know I want to buy some of those puzzle piece mats with the letter and number cut outs for the tile portion of the baby play room floor. My other priority would be something for each crib and the two swings. Mirrors, little mobiles, a fabric book, etc. Anything that can provide a little stimulus. The last two things would be some new toys that require fitting shapes or matching colors, again stuff with a little more challenge. Important criteria: no batteries, cleanable, and a way to keep all the pieces together. Finally, some books. An ultimate way to end the night is reading a book in each room. Right now the babies are put into their crib and the light is out. I think adding nightly reading would both help them settle and sleep faster and increase their understanding of language beyond the rules of the baby house.

Clase de Ingles Suggestions

2010-01-23T16:01:00.000-08:00

Today I feel a million times better, but I am quarantined. I thought I got sick from the food or water, but apparently there is a 24-48 hour virus going around, so they want me to limit my contact with the kids. I am so bored! So far I have done my laundry, cleaned my room and finished a crossword. I have also observed that the door to my bathroom was put up upside down and now it is bothering me!

But to the point, I am writing this entry because I need ideas for my English class. Every week I have a topic and an activity. For example, the day we learn parts of the body, clothes (and review colors with the clothes) I am going to bring in stuff to dress the kids as we learn all the names of the items. For food, I am going to buy fake food or use pictures and have everyone pack a lunch into a bag and then tell the class what they are going to eat, and if they like it or not. To practice numbers and telling the time we’re going to play “What time is it Mr. Fox!” However, the first week I want to teach introductions, (hello, my name is, what’s yours, how are you, etc.) and I can’t think of a fun activity. Any suggestions?! Rather than post to this blog please e-mail me: lmoskowitz@moskow.us

P.S. In my next life I am going to know Spanish fluently and be a teacher!

Babies

2010-01-22T19:12:00.000-08:00

I’ve started talking in Spanish in my head. I think this is a good step, but I know that it is my own made up version of what I think I know. My comprehension has definitely improved, I don’t know about my speaking, which is making me really nervous to teach English. I guess I got this assignment partly because I will be here for a while and partly because it was figured if I know something I can automatically teach it. I kind of compromised and agreed to teach the younger kids so that my Spanish doesn’t have to be as strong. I will also be in each classroom for 45 minutes a day, but only one day a week, so hopefully my lesson will get better as the week goes on. I have chosen topics for each week and have also tried to come up with a fun activity. At the end I’m hoping to put on some sort of concert with songs like Old McDonald, Head, Shoulders, and songs I found to teach days of the week and months. But before I get too far ahead I need to see if I can actually teach this first.

I have also already chosen which baby I want to adopt. His name is Ludwin, and he is approximately a year old, (his exact birthday is unknown). He has the biggest brown eyes, and is so happy, except when you put him down. He literally wants to be hugged all the time. I think I relate with him because he has a corner. He likes to stand in this corner with a toy, but he mainly likes to just observe all the other babies playing. Then when I walk in he runs to me to pick him up and loves to just sit and cuddle.

The baby house is complete madness. There are 17 babies ranging from a month to nearly four. The oldest girl there, is past the point of moving up but she is having a difficult time potty training, which is necessary for the next house. I know she knows exactly what to do, but wants to hold on to being a baby. She loves the attention they get during diaper changing time, and literally giggles when she is getting diapered at night. I think that it would be better if they just put her in the next house, and she would have the example of the other kids. Plus she would look like the baby if she was the only one still using diapers. Unfortunately too, she is really behind developmentally. Because she only communicates with babies, she doesn’t talk, and doesn’t know colors or shapes. She outgrown toys available and while she looks older in size, expressively, she is the same as an 18 month old.

There are five girls who work and live at the baby house full- time, I including the house mother. They are truly amazing and love all of the children but there is just not enough to go around, especially since one person is constantly with Miguel, the newborn. It is literally like each girl having quadruplets. The house is so much more than “plop a bottle in their mouth” like some orphanages, but at the same time the babies are under-stimulated, with no books and very limited toys, and always in competition for attention. If you provide a lap about four will come up and fight for it. The other infants and a couple of the crawlers spend a lot of time in swings with nothing to look at or feel, and as a result, the backs of all the babies heads are flattened around the soft spot. When they are teething they have nothing but the toys of the other kids and their fingers to relive the pressure.

They are also so quiet, disciplined and accustomed to their routine. When food is in front of them they all use a spoon to eat it very quickly and can hold a bottle at a young age. It fascinates me what a one year old can learn when they have to or they don’t eat. Before meals, they pray and every single one will sit with hands clasped together, it is so cute! They can call each other by name and refer to the house mother as Mama. It’s nice to know that even in an orphanage “mama” is one of the first words learned. Their learning however is based on survival and repetition, not on stimulus.

Being in the baby house is difficult. It is one of those places that given the circumstance, the number of babies vs. the amount of help and the amount they have to work with, it is extremely well run and organized. Every child’s basic needs are met, however, there is simply so much that a baby needs.

Almost a Week

2010-01-21T19:45:00.000-08:00

Well, to begin, I will answer everyone’s pressing question: It took 6 days for me to get sick from some combination of water and food! I felt great until about 6:30pm and then like a flood I got really sick, my stomach has since settled and I enjoyed saltines for dinner (thanks mom!) but lesson number 134: even through a coffee pot, the water can make you sick. I was being really carful too about not drinking it, but I was using tap water for coffee. Not good! And no mom I don’t have a parasite, just a little upset.

So anyway, I have been working in the special education classroom in the mornings and then at 1 heading over to the baby house, where I am literally another set of hands and extra love. Starting in February I will teach English for 8 weeks, to the pre-kinder through 3rd gradish classrooms. Not what I would have chosen for myself, and in fact I didn’t, but I truly like everything.

However, if you asked me that on Monday, I was livid. What angered me most was that I wasn’t included in the discussion about what I was going to spend 11 weeks doing. I guess this is typical for an orphanage, especially when they don’t know a person, but I was definitely surprised when I thought I was attending a meeting for my assignments and instead was told to go to the baby house.

I have been in the special education classroom since Monday (the first day of school for the year here), and they need so much help. I think it’s wonderful, even progressive, that this orphanage has (1) a school, and (2) a recognition of the need for special education, but this classroom is kind of a mess. Twelve children from ages 5-14 and completely varying degrees of challenge sit at desks in a room with no toys, reading books or anything creative (the regular classes have these things) and depending on age either color or draw red squares for margins in their notebooks. Ages 5-9 have been coloring workbook after workbook and tracing number and letter, but they can’t read them. After the coloring is done, they get to rip colored paper and glue it into the picture they have colored. The teachers, have been preparing the school supplies for the past 4 days. They, and I, have been covering notebooks and folders, first in paper then in plastic and coloring in pictures of hearts and suns to glue onto the notebook covers. The older kids have been drawing red margins and numbering every page, front and back, of about 6 books each. The notebooks, however, look like ours and have a blue and red line on each side of the page. Apparently, they need to trace over these and add top and bottom lines with a ruler completing the square. Sometimes the younger kids get to play with playdough, but again they get one color, no extra toys, like stamps or cookie-cutters, and must sit at their desk. It is sometimes tortures me to be in the room.

I decided however, that I will take time to teach what I can, when I can, even if I’m not supposed to. I’m good at pretending I don’t understand, (and sometimes I still don’t). Yeststerday, for example, when one child, who is 7, finished coloring, I suggest he write his name. I realized he couldn’t, so I took a paper, wrote his name across the top and then did some dotted line names. By the end, he could free-hand the letters looking at my example! I also had three other kids come to me to learn to write their name, because they were excited about it. And today, Maria, was still tracing over what she wrote yesterday, and singing to herself. I know it’s simple, but it was so rewarding seeing how happy the kids were doing it. It was the first thing that captured their attention and a project they wanted to do. Even if they don’t yet know the letters, they are starting to see how their name looks and can replicate it. The workbook today had E in it and Enrique said to me, “I learn this yesterday, it’s in my name.” So I said, “learn it well it’s in your name twice!”

Today, the teacher gave a student addition problems with numbers in the hundreds and thousands. This child is severely mentally disabled, but is very intelligent. She asked me to correct the work and literally every problem was wrong. To begin I discovered he was adding the columns from left to right. Second, he was losing count in his head. For example, 2 + 6 ended up being 3 or 4, because when he went back to add the second number he would start over counting. Third he would carry, but then forget to add all three numbers together. He would only add one onto the top number and stop. Ok maybe too much detail, but the point is, when I told the teacher he got everyone wrong, she shook her head and shrugged. I think, though I might misunderstand, that no one has even identified where his confusion lay. I found a dusty abacus in the back of one of the closets with colorful beads so each column looks different. We went through all of the problems again, counting out the first number on the top of the abacus and the second number on the next line (and if we carried including the 3 number) then counting it all together. He not only understood, but when I gave him a new set of numbers continued the pattern and got nearly everyone right. We’re still working on carrying. He was so into it that he wanted to finish after the bell rang, and take the abacus home! No one ever gave him something to count with!

Words do not express how happy I was leaving school these past two days. I know that I will not be here forever and I don’t know what will be remembered after I am gone, but I can already feel the little successes. I don’t intend to change the faults of the classroom, but while I am in that room, I will literally do whatever small things I can to really teach something and get a response.

That’s a lot for now, so I will save the babies for tomorrow as well as my English class.

By the way:

The fruit is called “zapote”

And I survived an earthquake. Apparently everyone else felt it, I didn’t and had no clue why everyone was evacuating the building. I literally sat at a desk bewildered. I’m kind of disappointed; I would have liked to actually feel my first earthquake!

My room has a shower, the hot water just doesn’t work for more than 30 seconds, you have to turn the shower off and on between the various diciplines.

Ayudame

2010-01-17T19:11:00.000-08:00

Well, I am in Guatemala!

I guess the best way to describe me now is overwhelmed but satisfied.

When I got through customs yesterday the Zamora’s were waiting for me with a big sign. I am so grateful to them for the transportation and translation. They assisted me in getting a phone and some basic necessities (ie. a coffee maker)! Settled now in my, possibly temporary room, I am still a little confused but confident I will find my place. It has been a little hectic here, but school starts tomorrow which will allow for a more scheduled pace. Tomorrow I will also begin to understand my role in this community and the plan for my service, plus I get to go to school!

Relaxing day. I spent the morning eating breakfast in one of the girls homes. I guess I should explain that the orphanage is divided into family units. Homes of 12-15 children, arranged by sex and age, with house parents, and all family-like activities are done in the home. This orphanage model is unique and inspirational, especially with the strong emphasis on the construction of family and the understanding of that means.

So anyway, I ate breakfast with the girls of the home next door to my room and they seemed both welcoming and confused. We did the best we could combining Spanish and English, and mostly I was able to observe the home, the interaction of the girls and parents and feel part of the community too! I went to church for the first time in years and also for the first time it was a church experience that I can relate to. I felt part of the worship, not an audience of it. There was no priest acting as a stand-in, no ceremonial offerings, not even a direct reading. Just a sharing of voices in spirited song, impromptu dancing (which happens to be the best kind), a peace offering to one another, and words about choosing a good path and believing in a larger plan. What is meant to happen will, but we have to be an agent of that meaning. If there is one thing I’ve learned in these past months it is that everything happens for a reason (and leave my cliché alone)!

So quick first thoughts:

I wish I knew Spanish more.
I could use a shower.
The community at this orphanage is truly beautiful.
That was the first time I really felt connected to a church service.
Names are going to be tough.
A Guatemalan grandmother will feed you until you literally burst (I guess this makes me feel at home).
The fruit is unique and amazing- It was a kiwi texture on the outside, but looked like a sweet potato, the meat on the inside was the color of watermelon or papaya, and the texture is best described as banana/avocado combo.
I should appreciate Wal-Mart more.

2010-01-16T18:28:00.000-08:00

I don’t know where to begin other than I am sitting on my bed and in piles around me are the few familiar things that will accompany me on my latest adventure. It is strange to see how far and how many transitions I have made in the last couple of months, graduating from college in May, moving back home, and finally leaving everything behind once again. Voy a Guatemala!!!

I have always been confident that upon graduating college I would devote myself full time to a position of service and an opportunity of personal growth. Contrary to that belief I began interviewing for some of the WORST jobs ever, including a Dunder-Mifflin-esque company, and I definitely took one too many personality quizzes. Anyway, I was discussing my lack of heart for the job market with my mother when she notices a new message on the machine. Now here I am, 5 months later, about to leave for Guatemala, with the support of my family and the hope of leaving something meaningful behind. I couldn’t be more excited!

This opportunity uniquely combines my overwhelming desire to travel, passion for humanitarianism and formal education in business communication. I always seek to create personal connections to the people of the countries I visit. I believe if I accomplish that, it could be enough. My hope however is to develop a program that attracts local volunteers, people who can become constants in the lives of these children. I learned in Africa, that what is actually done in my presence is much less important than work that can be continued after I leave.

So here I go…I’ll keep you posted!

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” –Annie Dillard